Chapter Text
“Jared Tristan Padalecki .”
He knew that tone, he was in trouble. Jared sighed and looked up from his painting to see his mother, dressed in her finest, bearing down on him, a frown on her face. He sighed again. “Yes Momma.”
“Don’t you yes momma, me.”
“No momma,” Jared grinned, laying his painting to one side.
His mother rolled her eyes. “What do you think you’re doing here, when you have 200 guests arriving …,” she looked down at her watch. “In just over an hour?”
Jared glanced toward his sprawling mansion house, knowing that in two hours it would be lit up like a Christmas tree, full of people he didn’t know, music he hated, and with food he didn’t particularly care for. Not wanting to upset his mother, he bit his tongue and shrugged. “Just keeping outta the way.”
“They’re all coming to meet you. It’s your party, and you’re not even dressed.”
Jared sighed softly. The parties always made him feel awkward and uncomfortable in his own skin, and not once had he ever felt like the rich eligible bachelor his mother wanted to world to see and acknowledge. They weren’t his guests and it definitely wasn’t his party, and he seriously doubted they were coming to meet him. Hell, he didn’t know half of the people invited, but Jared resisted the temptation to contradict his mother. Jared shrugged again. “It won’t take me long to get ready.”
“David has worked hard on this party for you,” his mother scolded. "And he's done a wonderful job on the house, and wants to show it off."
"I know. And I appreciate it, really I do."
“Then show him a bit of appreciation, and get your ass in gear young man.”
Jared chuckled. “Momma? What would your handsome senator say about you cursing?” His mother blushed, and Jared chuckled again.
“He’s not my senator.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
His mother moved closer, and stroked at Jared’s hair. “You do know he’ll never replace your father. No-one could ever do that.”
“I know.”
“But I like him. He’s kind and generous, and he makes me laugh. I like his company, and we have fun together.”
Jared leaned into his mother’s touch. “I know he’ll never be Dad, but if he asks say yes."
"Jared." His mother blushed.
Jared grinned. He liked seeing his mother happy, after so many years of grief. "He makes you happy, so I'm happy. And second chances don't come along every day."
"I know. Don't worry, I'm happy. And anyway he hasn't asked me yet."
"The senator didn't become a senator by being stupid. He'll ask the prettiest woman around these parts."
His mother blushed. "You think?" she asked, a hopeful expression on her face.
Jared nodded. "Yeah I do, but if he makes my Momma cry just once, I'll kick his ass, senator or not." He smirked.
Instead of the slap Jared expected, his mother kissed the top of his head. “Thank you Jared. You’re my favourite son.”
“I’m your only son.”
“Smart ass.”
“Momma,” Jared grinned up at his mother.
His mother smiled at him. “Jared baby, are you okay? I’m worried about you. Are you happy? You’ve seemed so distracted these last few months.”
You can be lonely in a crowd. The words seemed to echo in his head. Jared shook his head smiling up at his mother. “I’m fine Momma. Just busy with the company and the new project.”
“You look tired. I don’t want you overdoing it.”
He could hear the worry in her voice, and Jared suddenly felt sad. His father had lived and breathed the company, but the long days – and nights - of hard work and dedication had finally taken its toll leaving Jared in charge of a multi-national company, and his mother devastated by his death. “Come and sit by me,” Jared patted the grass. “We haven’t seen a lot of each other in the last few months.”
“We’ve both been busy. I haven't even had a chance to ask you how you got on looking at the land for the new development."
"It was fine."
"Just fine. But you were really excited when you found the land, absolutely bursting with plans for the development. I thought you were going to explode you were so excited. You said it was the perfect place."
"It is."
"Oh," his mother frowned.
"I know what you've been busy with," Jared said with a small smile knowing it would distract his mother away from asking him about the new development.
His mother beamed at Jared, waving a hand toward the house. "David and I have had such fun with the redecorating and refurbishing." She bit at her lip. “You do like it don’t you? David and I had such a good time together.”
“Of course David loved the work, he’s an interior designer. It’s what he does for a living.”
“This is different.”
“Yeah?” Jared frowned.
“This is your home.” She worried at her perfectly painted pink lip. “And may be his, some day.”
“Momma.” Jared rolled his eyes.
“I’m just saying,” she protested. “But you do like it, don’t you? It’s your home after all.”
Jared nodded, absently fingering the outline of the amulet hidden under his shirt. “Yeah I love it. You’ve both done a great job,” he said, hoping his mother couldn’t hear the lie. In truth, he hated the house; it was too fussy and overly ornate for his tastes, and he was just glad he had drawn a line at decorating his private office/studio in the west wing of the house. This was where he really felt at home, sat at his drawing board, surrounded by his designs, his favourite candy, and a myriad of technical and construction data. He glanced toward the house again. It could never be his home now, and it would definitely never be David’s home.
“We could do your studio,” his mother offered with a small smile.
Jared narrowed his eyes at his mother, knowing she was teasing him. “I like my studio just fine the way it is. My candy stash … my own private organised chaos … my stuff.” His mother smirked at him, and Jared grinned. “That’s it, I’m gonna put up a keep out sign up at the door and change the locks.” Jared grinned.
His mother chuckled. “Just offering baby.”
Jared mock-shivered, still grinning. “No thank you Momma. You and David can re-organise and paint some other poor soul.”
“You know, David is a good choice for you. He comes from such an excellent family, and he’s a wonderful host. I think you make such a wonderful couple.”
Jared looked up at his mother with a smirk. His parents had been shocked when he had declared himself gay, and his mother had gone out of her way – in denial – to parade a long line of pretty girls in front of Jared for a few months. She had eventually given up, and started to search out every eligible male, from good families, for Jared to choose from. David had been the last in a long line; not his mother’s first choice, but she was finally accepting him, and never missed an opportunity to bring up the subject of marriage and settling down. It was driving Jared bat shit crazy. “You didn’t like David. Greg what’s-his-name was your first choice.”
His mother pouted at him. “Well I do now. Now I’ve got to know him. He’s right for you Jared."
"Momma."
"Well, everyone's expecting an announcement soon," his mother protested. "He’ll make you an excellent husband. A good partner. Someone to do all the things you hate, like throwing successful parties, and looking after the house and its staff.”
Jared sighed, and stared toward the house again, half listening to his mother extol David’s virtues. “Come sit by me,” he patted the grass again.
His mother tilted her head to one side. “You may be my favourite son in the world and I love you dearly, but nothing would get me to sit on the grass in a six thousand dollar Dior gown.” She did a quick twirl. “What do you think?”
“I think the senator will love it,” Jared smiled. “And as always, you look beautiful.”
“Just like your father,” his mother smiled at him.
“I hope so,” Jared whispered. There were tears in his mother’s eyes, and Jared wanted to kick himself – real hard. He looked down fiddling with a loose thread on his knee, giving his mother time to compose herself.
“I see you’re painting again.”
“Yeah,” Jared fingered the painting.
“It's been a long time since I saw you paint anything other than a building or a theatre."
"Just wanted to do something different, and I found my old paints this morning."
His mother nodded, thoughtful. "I thought you preferred your straight lines, everything in black and white. Big modern buildings made of steel and glass?” she teased. “I see you’ve even painted a rainbow.”
Rainbows are gifts from the skies. The deep voice that had haunted his dreams for months whispered the words, and Jared could almost feel warm breath puffing across his ear. The churning was back again, and Jared rubbed at his belly. He looked up at his mother. “Colour can be cool, with the right inspiration.”
“I guess,” his mother replied with a smile. She peered down at the painting. “I don’t recognise the area.”
“Just a place I found on my travels.” Jared shrugged, still fingering the painting.
“Pretty.”
“Yeah, yeah it was.”
His mother frowned down at him, and Jared smiled. In the distance, the music had started and she turned toward the house. “That means the guests will be arriving soon.” She turned back to Jared. “You young man, come on, pack up your painting. You need to get your ass into the shower, get dressed and be in the hallway in 20 minutes. I'm sure David will be wondering where we both are."
"He'll be organising something or someone. Probably didn't even realise we were missing."
"Jared."
"Sorry."
"Twenty minutes, Jared. In the hall, all dressed and ready to go. David and I will be waiting. Got it, young man?"
"Yes Momma."
"You’re not so big that I can’t still tan your hide.”
Jared grinned. “Yes Momma.”
His mother huffed out an annoyed breath, and spun around in a flourish of delicate lace, chiffon and diamonds. “And be on your best behaviour. No trying to sneak away.”
"No Momma."
"Now Jared, honey. Come on." His mother turned, and walked toward the house.
Jared sighed, but knew he was fighting a losing battle. He collected his paints and the painting stuffing them into his bag, before dragging himself to his feet, and hurrying after his mother.
Five minutes later, Jared entered the house through the back kitchen door. He glanced around, not recognising the room. It was filled with people that had been hired for the evening – chefs who were busy preparing food. Waitresses and waiters loitered, trays in hand, awaiting instructions. The mouth-watering, if slightly too fancy for Jared's tastes, array of food covering every available surface reminded him he hadn't eaten since breakfast, and his stomach rumbled loudly. He dragged his gaze away from the food, and studied the man in the middle of the organised chaos, seemingly in total control of the hustle and bustle that had become his home for the evening.
David Harding was ridiculously handsome, well mannered and stylish. He was fun, generous and good company; Jared liked him, but didn’t love him. Three months ago, Jared would have married David without question, just to make everyone happy. But now, things were different. He couldn’t marry David; it wouldn't be fair to either of them. Jared’s heart belonged to someone else, someone he could never have. Jared sighed softly, at the familiar churning in his stomach when he let his thoughts wander. He forced a smile as David turned toward him
"Jared, you're not ready. And the guests," he said looking at his watch. "Will be arriving in about thirty minutes."
Jared shrugged. "It won't take long. I'll be back down before you know it, ready to mingle with whoever you and my Momma have invited."
"This your party Jared. Be a bit more enthusiastic can't you?"
"I guess, sorry."
"I've already laid out your tux for you."
"You didn't have to."
"Yes I did. This place is going to be full to the brim with really important people, and I wanted you to look good. Not that you don't always look good, but I wanted you to look extra special tonight."
"Thanks."
"Anyway, where have you been? I went looking for you, but then I got called back here. Anton had some emergency with the appetizers, and was having a melt down about something to do with smoked salmon."
"Oh."
"Don't worry, I sorted it all out." David leaned forward giving Jared a quick peck on the cheek. He lowered his voice. "Next party, we are definitely hiring an American chef. These Europeans are far too temperamental, and prone to panic attacks over pastry and stuff. And don't get me started on the desserts."
Jared shrugged. "I'm sure you have everything under control. The food looks great."
David beamed. "Well, thank you kind sir."
Jared snorted out a small laugh. "I'll go and get ready."
"So where did you say you were?"
"In the grounds. Painting. It's a real pretty day. You shoulda come outside with me, and enjoyed the sunshine."
David rolled his eyes, and smiled. "Someone had to organise your party, Jared."
"We coulda got someone in to do the organising stuff. You didn't have to do it."
"It's really okay, Jared. I wanted to do this for you." David laughed. "But there's a lot to do to make sure the party is the talk of the town for months to come."
Guilt washed over him, and Jared felt suddenly sick. He didn't deserve David, and all the other man did for him. "You've done a great job so I'm sure it will be," Jared finally managed to say. "And the house, I love it."
"Really?"
Jared forced a smile for David. "Yeah, you've done a great job, thank you David." He leaned forward kissing the other man lightly on the lips. "I'm sure the guests will be impressed too."
David beamed. "You think so?"
Jared touched David's arm. "Yeah, yeah I do."
David nodded with a bright smile, before glancing away for a moment. "Not like that," he yelled at one of the chefs. "I want them placed perfectly, exact same numbers on each tray. And no wobbly lines." David looked back to Jared. "What were you saying before? Oh yes, you were in the grounds. Painting, that's nice." David frowned. "I guess painting is relaxing, but there's not really anything out there, just grass, trees and stuff."
Jared sighed. "You're obviously not seeing, just looking."
"What?"
"Nothing. It doesn't matter."
David frowned again. "Are you okay Jared? You've been acting sorta weird for weeks now."
No, Jared wanted to say, but instead he forced another smile. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired."
"You work too hard. May be after the party, we can go away for the weekend, just the two of us. To the beach house. You can do some of your ….," he waved a hand absently. "Painting or whatever."
"I'm pretty busy with the new development."
"Oh, you can surely spare one weekend. It'll be great. Just you and me," David waggled his eyebrows. "And your mother mentioned the beach house needs some redecoration. I can take a look. What do you say?"
"I'll have a look at my calendar after the party. Okay?"
David nodded, his gaze drifting away from Jared. "I said not like that," he yelled at a hapless chef. David turned back to Jared, and rolled his eyes. "Seems like I have to do everything around here," he whispered, as he flapped his hands at Jared, looking him up and down. "Now shoo, you go and make yourself all beautiful, and I'll whip this merry little band into some sort of shape before every thing is ruined." He gave Jared a quick kiss on the forehead before advancing on the chef.
Jared sighed. "I'll be down in ten," he said heading toward the door. He looked back over his shoulder. David was shouting instructions at the chef, obviously in his element.
Once in his own suite of rooms, Jared locked the door, and flopped onto his bed, narrowing avoiding the tux he hated with a passion. He could feel the tears threatening, and he swiped at his face. Everything had changed, he had changed. He had everything he could ever want – people that loved him, a beautiful home, a successful career and business, and more money than he could count. He should be happy, instead he was miserable and lost with a gaping hole where his heart should be. Jared hated himself, knowing he was living a lie. David deserved someone who loved him, not someone who was just going through the motions. Jared should be happy, but he had never been so unhappy in his life. The loneliness of his life had never bothered him before, but now it gnawed away at him. Jared choked on a sob as he turned his head toward the window, his hand clutching at his precious amulet, and stared at the darkening sky, letting his mind wander. He closed his eyes, urging his memories forward.
To be continued……