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The first time Jared let Jensen fuck him was at a wrap- party. They had just finished the sixth season and were celebrating at one of the producers´ house. It was a fast and sloppy fuck in the bathroom upstairs. Jensen holding Jared at his hips while pounding into him from behind. Jared bent over the granite bathroom table, head slamming against the hard table with each violent trust, while trying not to scream out loud, not even knowing if the suppressed scream was from pleasure or pain. Jensen with the taste of beer and tequila on his breath whispering dirty things to Jared in a husky voice. The groans both men spilled when coming were drowned by the music playing downstairs. And the memories of the night were drowned in the haze of alcohol. At least that was what they said to themselves when they left the party separately.
The second time Jared let Jensen fuck him he didn’t really let him. It happened like it happened the first time. It just happened. There was too much alcohol involved of course. They were at a bar with some friends from the crew. It had happened behind the bar in an alley. What a cliché Jared thought later. He had gone with Jensen out to get some air, but the air Jensen had wanted was apparently inside Jared´s mouth. The fuck itself had hurt… a lot. Jared didn’t want it. Not really. He had tried with words like “no” and “stop”. He had tried the words in his head and they didn’t sound right. He couldn’t say no to Jensen. He had already let him once and he had already fallen in love with him so he just let Jensen fuck him up against a brick wall in an alley behind the bar.
The third time Jared let Jensen fuck him was almost romantic. Except for the fact that Jared was in love with Jensen and Jensen wasn’t in love with Jared.
The last time Jared let Jensen fuck him was the day before Jensen´s wedding. It happened at the bachelor party. Another bathroom same style of fucking. Jared told himself that if he just fucked well enough Jensen might call off the wedding.
He didn’t…