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Jensen is sitting on the couch, Harley lying beside him, his big doggie head in Jensen's lap, where he is absently scratching behind the dog's ears. Sadie is curled up on the floor at Jensen’s feet, her fur keeping his bare toes warm.
Jared is somewhere in the house doing God only knows what.
He’d drank a six-pack and a half of Jensen’s Mountain Dew earlier and then proceeded to eat three bags of sour ropes, so as long as he wasn’t sitting on the couch bouncing beside Jensen, it was all good.
Jensen loved his boyfriend…like so much that it hurt sometimes. But whenever Jared was hyped up on pop and candy, it was like living with a pack of wild wolves that were circling a wounded animal.
So it’s not surprising to Jensen when he hears clatters and crashing sounds coming from the kitchen, he just figures that Jared decided to make something to eat. Yeah, the kitchen would be a nightmare when he was done, but it always is when Jared cooks.
What Jensen isn’t expecting is a high-pitched "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!" screech that practically shatters the windows and drips down the walls of their house.
Harley and Sadie scamper across the floor yipping and barking at the loudest possible decibel, Harley running in place for a few moments when his feet hit the tiled floor in the hallway leading to the kitchen.
"Hush!" Jensen commands, his head feeling like it’s going to explode. Sadie obeys and sits down, Harley not so much, but at least he did run up the stairs barking instead of knocking Jensen down trying to get into the kitchen ahead of him.
When Jensen comes into the kitchen, the sight before him almost makes him bust out laughing and wet his pants. Jared…big ass Jared, is standing on a chair, scrunched down, his knees bent and poking out to the side, hands gripping the back of the chair. He looks terrified.
"What are you doing?" Jensen asks with a smirk, laughter barely taking a backseat.
Jared points across the kitchen to the floor.
Jensen turns around.
Ah.
Spider.
"Are you serious? You knocked over the wine rack, and broke three bottles of the expensive stuff mind you, because there’s a spider on the floor?"
Ok, in Jared’s defense, it is a pretty big spider, but still…one smush from the gigantic Padafoot – problem solved. Not apparently in this round.
Spider – 1, Jared – 0
"That is not a spider! That is a teenage mutant ninja spider!! KILL IT!"
"No, I’m not killing it," Jensen says, getting a glass from the cabinet and a paper plate from the counter. He bends down and flicks the spider inside the glass and then covers it with the plate and turns around…apparently too close to Jared, because he yelps out a very unmanly squeak and falls off the chair, skittering away from him with his ass only an inch off of the floor, looking like a crab on crack and smacking into the wall.
"Get that…don’t come over here!" Jared yells, flapping his arms around.
"I’m not gonna throw it on you, Jared. But seriously, it’s just a spider."
"It’s a huge, ugly, hairy spider! And it tried to jump on me! I bet it’s poisonous! You need to kill it Jen!"
"They’re good for the environment, Jared. They eat bugs and stuff, I’m not killing it. I’ll take it outside and let it go, alright?"
"It’ll just get back in. What if it comes looking for me and crawls on me in my sleep?" he asks, his body shuddering and his face looking a little green.
Jensen just chuckles and walks to the back door and elbows the patio door open.
When Jensen gets back to the patio, Jared is standing in the doorway glaring at him. "You’re throwing that glass away."
"Oh my God, Jared! I’ll wash it and it’ll be fine! Will you stop?"
"I don’t like spiders. They freak me out."
"You’re a pussy. You’re like a bazillion times it’s size, Jared."
Jared’s glare tightens. He grabs Jensen and yanks him over to the couch, tearing off clothes along the way. "M’not a pussy!" Jared grumps.
Jared fucks him right there, with Jensen’s knees bent, legs spread open like a girl, until his body is shivering with orgasm, his cock exploding between his and Jared’s bellies and he’s moaning like a porn star.
As they’re both lying there panting and coming down from their orgasmic highs, Jensen decides that spiders are pretty creepy.