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Day One
Food and water, that's all he wants, and Sam. He needs Sam, not just physically, but needs Sam to confirm that he isn't a monster, he needs someone to protect. Slow, sweet, needy sex, comfort.
Day four
Three nights of no sleep keeps him from any form of hardcore sex, mainly just resting, getting his bearings back, and drinking. The memories are getting to him, Hell. Torture. Pain. If he's not careful, the pain will kill him. Sam's lost and suspicious, but the subject's not brought up.
Day twenty-eight
The nightmare makes him wake up screaming and Sam is beside him. He won't talk about it as he holds tightly to Sam, not letting go of Sam's arms as he is held and rocked gently. He's keeping it all to himself and has no want to share it, because he can't have Sam think him a monster. He won't let Sam down like that. It will break him apart. He can't take much more breaking. He won't be able to last this out if Sam finds out what has been done.
Day forty-five
He thinks he's hiding it well from Sam, he thinks Sam just isn't noticing. No, Sam has Sam's own needs in mind, but he's too focused in on his memories to notice the subtle, strange new habits Sam has acquired in the past few months. It's her fault. Sam has been unfaithful in a sense, but he doesn't seem to mind. He needs Sam. He forgives Sam. He isn't aware Sam is still unfaithful.
Day sixty-two
Sam knows what he's done in Hell. Sam forgives him at least, but it is most likely out of his own guilt. It doesn't seem to make him feel better, but it makes it easier for Sam to understand the nightmares. He's always helping Sam. Sam's the only important person left in his life. He rates so-so in Sam's life. Even though Sam drinks demon-blood, he still accepts him. It's hard to understand.
Day eighty-five
Another nightmare, but this time it's him holding Sam. He needs the assurance, because he knows Sam is seeing the demon, but he doesn't want to believe it. Needing the assurance, it's a slow, passionate fuck, to rid him of the memories temporarily. Hands linked. Moans low. Many kisses. Multiple orgasms. They drift to sleep tangled in each other and the sheets. Messy. Blissed out. Broken. Yet he's still beautiful.
Day ninety-six
He's in pain. It's Sam's fault. Sam chose that demon over him again. Sam thinks he doesn't know, but he does. So, he's drinking, trying to make it go away. Instead, he drinks too much and it's easy for the two bikers to over power him. Pain. Blood. Degradation. They leave him in an alley. Clothes torn beyond recognition, bruises, scrapes, and needing Sam. Always needing Sam.
Day ninety-seven
Sam finds him early in the morning and all he can do is look at anything but Sam. He doesn't want Sam to think of him like this. Sam gets him to the hotel quickly and cleans him up. He won't look at Sam, and even after the bath, he won't let Sam touch him. He drinks a lot. Sam leaves him in my care to go hunt these bastards down. Sam blames me for this happening. I wasn't allowed to protect him from the bikers. Sam may never understand. He keeps drinking.
Day one-hundred-one
Sam returns. He's asleep, curling up in the corner on a makeshift bed of pillows. He's in a ball, making it a pet-bed size. Everything but his head is covered with a sheet. He wants to die. Sam tells me to leave, so I do, but I will watch. He just won't know it. Being an angel has it's perks.
Day one-hundred-fifteen
Sam's finally allowed to touch him, but he still flinches. Most of the bruises have faded from his body, except a nasty one along his jaw and a few on his chest. He doesn't blame me. Orders are orders. Still.... He's broken now. More broken then anyone deserves and I didn't stop it. I need to keep out of these events and I need to keep my opinions out.
Day one-hundred-nineteen
He wakes up screaming again, suffocating in the pillow he's got his face buried in. Sam's not here to make it better. Sam's with her again. He breaks down and cries. Yet, tomorrow he will wake up and pretend that it's all okay. Why can't Dean look at me like he looks at Sam?