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We Can't Go On

Summary:

Jared and Jensen are in Las Vegas to ring in 2010 with friends. I don’t think either expected to ring it in this way.

Notes:

Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at Sinful-Desire.org. To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on Sinful Desire collection profile.

Author's notes: Author’s Notes

I usually don’t write song fics, nor enjoy reading them because unless you are familiar with the song, the whole story doesn’t make any sense.

However, ever have a story idea literally hit you over the head when you hear a song on the radio? That’s where this idea came from. And to help ya’ll understand why it hit me so hard, here is a link to where you can listen to the song from Eddie Rabbit. Just click on the link and scroll down to the song called We Can’t Go On Living Like This

http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=14058912&albumid=10400943

Work Text:

Chris sighed as he looked down from the stage at his group of friends. While he was happy that they all were able to get together in Las Vegas to ring in 2010, something they haven’t been able to do in a long time, he couldn’t be completely happy because not everyone in their group was.

 

As Steve’s band wrapped up the song they were currently playing, Steve sent Chris a look that clearly asked ‘what’s up?’ Chris only nodded in the direction of their friends. Steve took one look and knew immediately who he was worried about.

 

Catching Chris’ eye again, Steve nodded towards the back of the stage. Chris nodded back.

 

“Uhm folks,” Steve announced as he replaced his microphone on its stand. “Need to take a real short break here so I can fix a guitar string. Be right back with the music.” He turned to his band mates. “Take 5 guys, I need to talk to Chris for a minute.”

 

Steve joined Chris behind the curtain. “We gotta do something, man. You got any ideas?”

 

Chris shook his head. “I can’t believe they came! I thought we clearly said this was a guys weekend only.”

 

Steve shrugged. “They just showed up.”

 

Chris fumed. “Damn! I really hate what all this is doing to them. If everyone had just left them alone . . .”

 

“I know. Just too many demands put on them. I can’t really blame either of them for all of this happening,” reasoned Steve. “I doubt I could stand up to that kinda pressure.”

 

Chris ran his hand through his hair. “If only there was some way of helping them to remember what they had.”

 

“Yeah, but how?” Steve asked. “They know its there, hell we ALL do.”

 

Chris gave Steve a long look. “Yeah, we do, don’t we. And ya know what? I think it is time to remind them that we all know.” A smile began to break across Chris’ face.

 

Steve gave him a wary look. “What are you up to Kane?”

 

Chris slapped Steve on the back. “Call the band over. I’m feeling a bit melancholy all of a sudden and really need to get a song off my chest. Want to see if they know it.”

 

“I have a feeling I’m going to either regret this or really hate you for thinking of it first,” Steve moaned but went and call his band mates over.

 

*****

 

Waiting for Steve’s band to start up again, their friends sat patiently and quietly at the long table. Jared sat at the end with his uninvited fiancé, Genevieve sitting next to him. Next to Genevieve sat Tom Welling. Directly across from Jared sat Mike Rosenbaum and next to him was Cliff Kosterman, Jared and Jensen’s friend and bodyguard. At the far end of the table, as far away from Jared as one could get, Jensen sat with his fiancé Danneel, also uninvited.

 

While Jared was just gazing around the room, ignoring Genevieve, Jensen was sitting with his back to everyone at the table and especially to Danneel.

 

Tom and Mike kept glancing back and forth between their two friends, aware that Jensen turning his back on Danneel at Steve’s concerts was normal behavior for him. However Jared completely ignoring everyone wasn’t.

 

Tom shook his head and came back to the present.

 

“. . . so we just decided to show up,” Genevieve finished.

 

“Jared did tell you this was a “guys only” weekend, didn’t he?” Mike pretty much had stopped listening to her story.

 

“He did. But we just decided that we should be ringing in the New Year with our fiancés” Danneel joined in. “

 

“So much for the bachelor parties,” Mike replied snidely to her but he was looking at Tom as he did so.

 

“Oh there will be none of those,” warned Danneel as she looked at Jensen’s back. He only shrugged.

 

Genevieve wrapped her arm around Jared’s shoulder. “Same here buddy. No hung over grooms at my wedding.”

 

Jared shook his arm free and frowned at her. “What?” he groaned.

 

Genevieve frowned at him. “You could at least pretend to be having a good time here Jared.”

 

Jared shot a glance in Jensen’s direction. “Up until a few hours ago, I was.”

 

Genevieve knew he was talking about her and Danneel unexpectedly showing up. The two of them had a huge fight in the room, especially after she found out he and Jensen were sharing a room. Danneel and Jensen were having a similar argument in the bathroom.

 

Neither side came to an agreement which was the cause of the tension amongst the group right now.

 

It was with a relieved sigh that everyone at the table looked back up to the stage as Steve, Chris and the band once again came back on. Chris walked up to the front mic.

 

“Hey folks. We got a special request here that we’d like to play before 2010 arrives, which should be in about five minutes. It’s a bit on the sad side, but the person making the request gave this explanation,” Chris told the crowd. He waved a piece of paper to them and began reading.

 

“The song they want us to sing is about growing apart, pretending to love each other but only going through the motions. This person hopes that by putting those feelings into a song, it will help their one true love to realize that the feelings are still there. That they want to go back to the way things were before the mess that became their lives for the past year had become. Hopefully, they can resolve their differences at the stroke of midnight and move on” Chris looked up from the paper to the crowd.

 

“Steve and I agreed that, even though the song is pretty melancholy, we think that it’s a good lead in to ringing in the New Year. A celebration of when we shed off the past and look forward to the new and make new promises and hope for a fresh new start. So with that being said,”

 

Chris took his guitar from Steve and the band began to play the special request. He looked down directly at Jared and then over to Jensen as he began to sing.

 

 

When we look at each other now, there's no love in our eyes. And when we talk to each other now, we just criticize.

 

Jared’s eyes grew big as the words filtered through. The ache he had managed to drown away for the time came back with a vengeance. Leaning back as far as he could go without looking suspicious, he glanced over at Jensen.

 

And we're trying to be lovers now; we never had to try before. Where's that feeling, that special feeling, we're not feeling any more?

 

Jensen caught Jared’s movement and knew he was staring at him. Glancing sidelong at Danneel and seeing her gazing up to the stage, Jensen chanced a look at Jared. Looking up and directly into his friend’s eyes, he could see the same pain, sadness and longing that he knew had to be reflected in his own.

 

We can't go on, living like this. Just going through the motions every time we kiss. Just think of all the good times we miss. Let's get back together, we can't go on, living like this

 

Jared couldn’t stop the lone tear that leaked from the corner of his eye. He sat staring into Jensen’s eyes, flashes of their relationship running through his memories. The good times, the pranks on set, the conventions, the barbecues with their friends, their shared vacations.

 

And tonight, once again, I'll reach for you, And you'll give yourself to me, like you always do,

And we'll fall away, unsatisfied, and lonely at the end.

It was so good, once upon a time, can't we love that way again?

 

Jensen could tell from the look in Jared’s eyes that he too was remembering their life together. And like Jared, Jensen also couldn’t stop the tear that fell from his eye.

 

We can't go on, living like this, just going through the motions every time we kiss. Just think of all the good times we miss. Let's get back together we can't go on, living like this.

 

The band finished the song just in time for the countdown to start. Chris and Steve had watched their friends during the song and saw their expressions. Now they could only hope that the push they just gave was the push in the right direction.

 

“Okay folks! Everyone stand up, grab and drink and get ready to bring in the New Year!” Steve encouraged.

 

“10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!” Chris yelled.

 

Danneel turned to give Jensen a hug and a kiss at the same time Genevieve did the same to Jared. Both women stopped and stared as both boys moved away from them and grabbed each other in a hug. While Genevieve fumed in anger, Danneel gave a sigh in resignation. She walked over to Genevieve and took her arm.

 

“Come on Gen. We don’t belong here,” Danneel tugged at her.

 

Genevieve pulled her arm free. “Just what the hell is that supposed to mean!” she demanded. Walking up to the boys, Gen pounded Jared on the back, causing him to pull back from Jensen, but he did not take his arms from around his neck.

 

“What’s going on!” Gen again demanded.

 

Jared frowned at her and then looked at Jensen who only nodded. Jared looked back at Genevieve.

 

“I’m sorry Gen. I can’t go through with the lies any longer. I’m not in love with you,” Jared sorrowfully stated.

 

“You’re. . . then why the hell did you propose to me!” she yelled.

 

Jared was distracted when Danneel walked up to Jensen and gave him back the engagement ring. She shrugged. “We’ll talk later but somehow I think I knew it would happen.”

 

She once again grabbed Genevieve’s arm. “Come on Gen. I’ll explain it all on the way home.” She pulled a sputtering and very angry Genevieve away.

 

As the party rang on around them, Jared once again hugged Jensen tight to him. Jensen could feel the tremors running through his friend and affectionately rubbed his back in a soothing manner.

 

“I’m so sorry for everything Jen,” Jared whispered in Jensen’s ear. “I never ever wanted it to get so far outta hand.”

 

“I know Jay, I know,” Jensen assured him. “I never thought it would get so crazy either.”

 

Jared pulled back and looked Jensen right in the eye. “Please tell me it isn’t too late. Tell me we can fix all this,” he pleaded. “I’ll do anything. I won’t beg you to come out, I won’t do any PDA’s at conventions or interviews, just. . . please. . .

 

Jensen smiled softly. “We can fix this Jay. I’ll do everything I can to fix this and I don’t care about coming out, and you better not stop the PDA’s anywhere.”

 

They both laughed and completely ignoring the fact that they were in a very public place, leaned forward and kissed each other. It wasn’t sexual in any way whatsoever, just gentle and caring and full of hope, promise and love.

 

Chris and Steve joined Tom and Mike at the table. Mike leaned over and punched Chris in the arm. “So exactly who was the request from anyway? I don’t see anyone else around here that looks like they were about to make a big mistake.

 

Chris shrugged and smiled slyly. “I guess you could say it was a self-request and I was hoping it would work.

 

All four men turned to look at Jared and Jensen now just standing slightly apart and gazing lovingly into each others eyes.

 

Steve clamped Chris on the shoulder. “I’d say it worked buddy.

 

“Yeah,” Tom agreed. “And I have no doubt that they’ll be able to deal with the fallout better than ever.

 

“And we’ll be there every step of the way to make sure the media circus doesn’t happen again,” promised Steve.

 

The other friends nodded their agreement and then sat back and waited for their two love struck friends to remember they were there.

 

The End