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Sinful Desire
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2009-07-25
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Leave A Message

Summary:

Jared and Jensen become stars in another media and it brings unexpected changes in their lives. A 'coming out' fic.

Notes:

Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at Sinful-Desire.org. To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on Sinful Desire collection profile.

Author's notes: I want to thank marys_scribbles and candygramme for editing this on such short notice. Their advise and input on things such as Vancouver landmarks were my saving grace.

This story is for LeAnn, who won me in the 2008 Sweet Charity auction. It is a little late, and for that I apologize. I hope you enjoy it and thank you again for bidding on me.

In my universe, the boys have been together since season one, meaning no girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. So I guess you could call this an A/U. *g*

Edit: Also, this story was written before Kim Manners death, but I have edited it to change a few things because leaving Kim's name in the story did not feel appropriate.

P.S. I know Jensen only listened to 8 messages on his answering machine. If you'd like to write a little snippet of what you think the other two messages said and whom they were from, please do so! I'd love to see what you come up with.

 

 

 

Work Text:

Jensen braced for the impact as his back hit the cold, hard brick wall. He could feel large strong hands, capable of so much power, pulling at his jacket, pushing it aside to access the hem of his T-shirt. Jensen shuddered as those hands caressed his hot skin, lingering above the waistband of his now too-tight jeans.

 

Groaning, Jensen whispered into the ear next to his face. "Touch me. Please."

 

His lover obliged. As trembling hands struggled with the zipper on his jeans, eventually sliding it down, Jensen pushed his groin into those tormenting hands, making his need known.

 

Practically sobbing with relief as willing fingers took his cock out, pulling him gently through the opening in his jeans, Jensen felt his mouth claimed in a hard and hungry kiss as the hand began to jerk him off.

 

He moaned and opened his mouth even more, rubbing his tongue against his lover's. Jensen could taste his sweetness, lips laced with the remains of Gummi Bears, and the bitter aftermath of the honey ale they had drunk earlier in their favorite bar. The two flavors mixed together screamed Jared to him.

 

As Jared's hand on his cock stroked Jensen toward ecstasy, he broke away from those teasing lips to growl, "Missed you so damn much."

 

"Missed you too. Wish I could take you back to my house right now and fuck you until neither one of us can move," Jared replied.

 

"Jare-" Jensen's voice broke, as his lover's words created hot fevered images in his head. A week apart, unable to touch, except for a few stolen kisses in Jensen's trailer on the set, away from prying eyes, had left both men horny and craving each other's touch.

 

When Jared had agreed to let his best friend from high school visit him for a week in Vancouver, Jensen had never thought the visit might interfere with their sex life. But with Derek by Jared's side nearly every waking minute, the two men had found little time to be alone together, even at work. Which probably explained why they were getting down and dirty in the back alley of The Lennox, while Derek was inside flirting with some local girls.

 

"Just one more day, baby. Then Derek goes back to Texas, and we can go back to normal," Jensen heard Jared whisper in his ear, his tone apologetic.

 

Jensen knew Jared felt bad about their predicament, and it wasn't his boyfriend's fault they hadn't spent any time together in the past week. Jared was just being a good host, showing Derek around Vancouver. But now that he had Jared right here, he did not want to waste any precious time. So giving him no time to react, Jensen leaned up and captured Jared's mouth in another steamy kiss. The awareness of just how dangerous the situation they were in slammed through him, but the need for Jared overwhelmed any fears of them being caught out in the open. His body ached for Jared's touch after being a week without.

 

Jensen lost track of time as Jared's talented hands continued their constant motion and he felt his balls tighten. When Jared used a little wrist action to strip his cock on the next upstroke, Jensen lost it completely and came into Jared's possessive fist.

 

"Son of a bitch," Jensen cursed, his hand still clutching Jared's waist, his body vibrating with the staggering effects of his powerful orgasm.

 

And despite the fact that Jensen had climaxed and was exhausted from that activity, the very air around them still seemed charged with heat and electricity, as if something else was brewing just beneath the surface. Unexpectedly a noise in the alley drew Jensen's attention away from Jared and their interlude for a moment and he asked, "Did you hear that?"

 

"Hear what?" Jared panted back, obviously trying to come down from his own explosive climax.

 

Dismissing his paranoia as nerves and deciding his hearing was working overtime, Jensen felt his breathing begin to settle down to a more even beat as he came back to his senses. Then he looked up and felt his heart lurch madly. Jared's expression was a sight to behold. Flushed with excitement, perspiration dotted his tan face and blissed-out pleasure glowed in his green eyes. Jared was so compelling in this state, his magnetism so potent that Jensen couldn't tear his gaze from his co-star's profile. At that moment, Jensen fell in love with Jared all over again.

 

Suddenly, the raucous sounds of laughter and snatches of music filled the night air as the back door to the bar was opened to the alley they were in.

 

"Shit," Jared muttered hastily. Despite their astonishment, Jared still had enough presence of mind to protect Jensen, pushing his lover's body off to the side, away from the view of any potential passers-by.

 

As both men realized they weren't alone any longer, they quickly cleaned up, rearranged and straightened their clothing, their passionate encounter forever interrupted by the reality of the world.

 

A minute or so later, Jared was ready to go into the bar. Jensen hesitated, pulling out a cigarette instead and lighting it up.

 

"You coming?" Jared asked, his voice, low and smooth.

 

Jensen took a drag, let out a long, audible breath and responded, "Not yet. You go in and find Derek. I'll be in after I finish this." He gestured towards the cigarette.

 

Jared's eyes were gentle, patient, and Jensen smiled, grateful his lover understood. Jensen needed a little time alone before he went back inside and played 'best friend' to Jared after what had just occurred in the alley.

 

Boldly roaming his eyes over Jensen's body, Jared gave his co-star an exaggerated wink, leaned close and said in a deep purposefully seductive tone, "One more day, Jensen. One more day, and then you're all mine again." And with that Jared turned and went back into the bar.

 

Jensen stayed outside another ten minutes until he regained his composure after those remarks. Jared had known since day one how to turn his crank with just one look - or a carefully chosen word. Really, the boy's mouth should be registered as a lethal weapon, Jensen thought.

 

Sighing, Jensen pulled his jacket tight around himself, trying to ward off the chilly Vancouver air. In the end he gave in to the inevitable and went back into the bar to make nice with Derek and Jared.

 

Like Jared had said, it was only one more day until things would go back to normal.

 

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

 

Two days later, Jensen walked into his apartment carrying his golf bag, excited at the prospect that in a few hours Jared would arrive. Since that night in the alley, they had seen little of each other, fate intervening in their plans.

 

First, Derek's flight back to Texas had been delayed, so by the time Jared had dropped his friend off at the Vancouver airport, it had been too late for him to swing by Jensen's apartment since they both had six a.m. calls the next morning. Then back on set, Bob Singer had kept them both late the previous night for re-shoots for the current episode. So by the time they were done filming at midnight, neither of them had the energy to do anything other than go home and crawl into bed - alone.

 

But thankfully today was Friday and Jensen was so grateful they would have the next three days off. He had finished his scenes early, so Bob had let him leave around noon. Unfortunately Jared was still on the set, taping one final shot with this week's female guest star, so Jensen had taken the opportunity to relax, hang out and play nine rounds of golf with Tom Welling.

 

Putting his golf bag in his hall closet, Jensen threw his car keys onto the table in the foyer and walked towards his kitchen, intending to get a cold beer. However, the flashing light on his telephone answering machine distracted him, before he could go and open the refrigerator door.

 

The blinking red light read ten.

 

Ten messages since he'd left the house this morning? That was unusual. Had something happened back home in Dallas? To his Mom? His Dad? Jared?

 

Quickly he pushed the play button and waited impatiently for the machine to start playing his messages. The first message was innocent enough.

 

"Mr. Ackles, this is Marty from Martin's Cleaners. Your dry cleaning is ready for pick-up. Thank you."

 

Beep.

 

"This message is for Jensen Ackles. Just a reminder that you have a dentist appointment next Monday, September 8th at 9 a.m. with Doctor Shelton. If you cannot make the appointment, please call the office at (604) 682-1254 to reschedule."

 

Beep.

 

"Jensen, since you had your cell turned off - again - I am leaving this on your home line. I am stuck in hell. I think Bob is trying to kill me with take after take. I hope Tom and you are enjoying your afternoon off, you fuckers! When you get home, how 'bout you order some Chinese take-out from that place we love down the street from your apartment? I should be out of here by five o'clock, and if I'm not, I've told Bob I will take him out back and bury him so no one will ever find his decomposing corpse." An evil cackle accompanied the last statement and Jensen snickered at his lover's antics.

 

"Bye, baby. See you soon."

 

Beep.

 

Seeing as the calls were nothing urgent, Jensen opened up the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, flipped off the lid and took a long drink as the next message began to play.

 

"Hey, Jenny. It's Chris. Turn your cell phone on, asshole! Call me back as soon as you get this, it's important."

 

Beep.

 

Jensen stared at the machine. Some things never changed. Chris was an idiot in person and on the phone. Jensen shook his head at his friend's brashness and brushed off the message. He'd call the other man back later this weekend, after Jared and he had spent some quality time together.

 

Next Steve's mellow baritone came through the line, his voice edged with tight control.

 

"Jen. I've been calling you for hours. Either you're filming or screening calls. Whatever you're doing, man, know I am behind you one hundred percent." Jensen could hear Steve yell at someone in the background, so the next part came out garbled, "-Tube. Look, call me when things calm down. And by the way, fucking call Kane. The bitch is driving me insane, calling me every hour to see if I've heard from you. He's worse than my mother. Sorry, gotta go, my ride is here. I'm flying to Vegas tonight for a gig, but I have my cell with me. Call me if you need anything. Later."

 

What was that about? Jensen thought as he took another drink.

 

Beep.

 

"Mr. Ackles, this is Miss Maddox, Patricia Rice's assistant."

 

His agent in Los Angeles?

 

The voice continued on in a dull, bored monotone, "Ms. Rice would like to set up a meeting with Mr. Padalecki and yourself in the next week to discuss your options. She was thinking a joint interview, either in People or Us Weekly. Both magazines are expressing interest in doing a cover piece. Get back to us at your earliest convenience."

 

Beep.

 

Interviews? Since when had Supernatural garnered that much attention by the mainstream media to warrant a cover on People? Just as Jensen was about to pick-up the phone and dial his agent's office he heard his mother's voice come through the answering machine.

 

"Jensen, honey. Your father and I were concerned about you. I know we haven't seen much of you since hiatus ended, and you had to go back to Canada..."

 

Jensen heard his mother's voice break into quiet sobs, and his gut clenched. His initial instinct that something was very wrong kicked into high gear as she continued, "But we want you to know that no matter what choices you make, we love you. You're our son, Jensen. You'll always be our son and we're so proud of you. I was thinking that over the Christmas break you could invite Jared to come for a visit, after he sees his family in San Antonio, of course. We like Jared, he's a nice boy. Maybe his family would like to come here for New Year's, so we all could celebrate the holiday together? You'll have to give me the Padalecki's phone number so I can arrange something."

 

A pause and she went on, "I've been talking with Mrs. Denton down the street and she says that her son and his..."

 

His mother's voice was cut-off mid-sentence as the machine's 45-second taping period ended. Now Jensen was even more concerned and confused than ever. His mother was rambling in the message, and his mother never rambled. And since when did his mother talk to Ida Denton who lived down the street? The two had nothing in common. His mother went to church twice a week, helped out on Tuesday nights at the local homeless shelter. Mrs. Denton was active in local politics, while his mother hated the subject. Mrs. Denton had turned into a community activist ever since her son Robbie had come out of the closet four years earlier and caused a stir at their neighborhood's homeowner's association meetings when Hank Matthews had called Robbie a "flaming..."

 

Oh shit.

 

Beep.

 

As Michael Rosenbaum's smirking and lightning-fast voice blared through the speaker, Jensen knew with a sinking sense of doom that his life was about to drastically change.

 

"Ackles, who knew you had it in you to be the next John Holmes? TMZ and You Tube all in one day? What's next holding hands on The Tonight Show and a tasteful article in The Advocate? I told Tommy we should have made a sex tape. "Lex Luthor and Superman - One Hot Night in Metropolis." We could have made millions. But no, little puritan that Tom is he moaned about possibly ruining his precious career! Did it hurt Pam Anderson's career after her sex tape came out showing her blowing Tommy Lee? No, I don't think so. And from what I can see online, that footage is giving you and Jared nothing but amazing press. I mean I heard on E! News that Perez Hilton announced that he'd kick the ass of anyone who said shit about Jay and you. Plus, TR Knight released a statement in support of your and Jared's big, gay love. So, Jenny, it looks like Hollywood thinks Jared and you are the next Angelina and Brad, you lucky shit. I am so jealous - and when you see my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, Thomas Welling, tell him all this fame and publicity could have been ours. Ours. Anyhow, call me the next time your are in L.A. and we'll paint the town red to celebrate your newfound A-list status. Love ya, man. Ciao."

 

Jensen could feel the beer bottle slip through his numb fingers and could hear the glass shatter as it hit the tile floor, but his mind was still reeling as Mike's ADD, stream of consciousness flow of words began to compute in his brain.

 

Dear God, people besides Mike, Steve and Tom knew about Jared and him? His mother and father - and Mrs. Denton, if his mother's message was accurate - knew about Jared and him? He ran over to the answering machine and hit the rewind button and replayed Rosenbaum's message. TMZ and You Tube were his first clues.

 

Two minutes later he was in his spare bedroom slash den on the Internet staring at video of Jared and him from the other night in the alley out back of The Lennox. And while the video might have been grainy, there was no mistaking the faces on the film. As Jensen watched the eight and a half minutes of film, saw Jared jerking him off (TMZ.com had thoughtfully blurred out his private parts), Jensen began to feel sick to his stomach.

 

Jensen wasn't upset that some pervert had taped them because they both should have known better than to fuck each other in a public place. No, he was upset that the private and beautiful moment that they had shared would now be forever tainted by gossip and whispers. That with the click of a mouse, millions of people around the world could view their lovemaking - and it was love, not sex - and turn it into something dirty and wrong.

 

And despite what Mike had said in his message, Jensen knew that this scandal could potentially harm their careers. While Hollywood had come a long way since the days of Rock Hudson and Tab Hunter, he wasn't sure if the rest of middle America was ready for Jared and Jensen in love, especially since they played brothers on television.

 

Shit, the set! Looking at the clock on the wall, Jensen saw it was nearly five o'clock, almost the time for Jared to be leaving the studio.

 

Pulling his cell phone out of his jeans, Jensen turned it on and as soon as it was charged up, he hit #1 on his speed dial and waited for it to ring.

 

After four rings, it went straight to Jared's voicemail. They must still be filming. Desperate to talk to Jared and tell him about the video before anyone else could, Jensen scrolled through his contacts and found Bob Singer's name. He dialed Bob's number. He got the same response - voicemail. Next Jensen tried Jeannie, their make-up artist, who also didn't answer. Two PA's and one ADA later, Jensen was growing frustrated. No one had seen Jared in the last hour, although the one PA thought he might be in his trailer. Finally, Jensen was able to reach Clif, Jared's driver.

 

"Clif, its Jensen. By any chance is Jared with you?"

 

"Hey, Jensen. No, he's finishing up. I'm supposed to get him in about fifteen minutes. You need something?"

 

Trying for nonchalance, Jensen replied, "No. Just trying to get in touch with Jared. He must have his cell off. Can you tell him to call me when you see him?"

 

"Sure, Jensen."

 

"Thanks, Clif. You have a great weekend."

 

"You too. Bye."

 

"Bye."

 

Over an hour later, Jensen was still waiting for Jared's call. In the meantime he'd called back Steve and Chris and assured both men that he was alright. Plus, he'd calmed Chris down enough to talk him out of getting on a plane from Nashville and coming to Vancouver to play 'bodyguard' for a few days. Christian Kane in full protective, kick-some-ass mode wasn't what Jensen needed in his life at the moment, although he appreciated Chris' heartfelt gesture. No, he just wanted to crawl under a rock for the next couple of months - with Jared, of course - until the next hot celebrity news story appeared and Jared and he were off the press' radar. Maybe if Jensen prayed hard enough Paris Hilton would land back in jail again, and then the paparazzi would stop calling his mother for a quote about her "gay" son.

 

His family. The conversation with his mother and father had gone better than Jensen had expected. While they were disappointed that Jensen hadn't told them he was gay - and in a relationship - they were still trying to come to terms with this unexpected twist in their lives. His mother especially was trying her best, reassuring him that the entire family still loved him. Their conversation had begun awkwardly, until Jared's name had been mentioned. At that point it had gone from awkward to downright embarrassing.

 

"How long have Jared and you been dating?"

 

"Dating?" Jensen's voice rose an octave.

 

"Yes, dating. Going together, whatever you want to call it. You are serious about him, Jensen, right? I mean it looked serious in the video. I'd hate to think that Jared and you were just foolin' around. Him being from such a good family and all." The insinuation was there, screaming: "Just because you're gay now doesn't mean you shouldn't treat your partner with respect. Remember 'The Talk' I gave you in 9th grade about how women are not sex objects? Well, that applies to Jared too."

 

Oh Jesus, his mother was asking him about his intentions regarding Jared. Would this nightmare never end?

 

"Jensen Ross Ackles?" Donna's voice was velvety soft, yet edged with steel, underlying her expectation that her son should answer her question.

 

"Um...Jared and I have been seeing each other for nearly three years, Mom. Yes, it's serious."

 

Jensen wasn't going to explain to her that the first couple of months it hadn't been an exclusive, committed relationship. Both Jared and he had continued to date other people - women - but by the end of shooting the first season finale they'd realized that somewhere along the line they had fallen in love. From then on there had been no one else for either man.

 

"Well, I'm glad of that. Mrs. Denton said that Robbie and his boyfriend have been together four years. In fact they are planning a wedding next year in California where they live. Maybe in the future, Jared and you-?"

 

The question hung in the air. It looked like something's never changed. Whether he was gay or straight, his mother wanted him married and settled. Jensen couldn't control his burst of laughter, realizing everything was going to be alright. His family hadn't abandoned him, as he had previously feared.

 

"Mother, if Jared and I ever decide to get married, you'll be the first to know. Promise."

 

"Before Jared's mother?"

 

"Yes, before Jared's mother," he answered indulgently.

 

As his mother continued to tell him about Robbie Denton's upcoming nuptials, Jensen smiled in relief at his mother's accepting tone. His momma may have been a twice-a-week churchgoer, but she had always been fair and open-minded. It was one of the many things Jensen loved about her. At that moment Jensen knew just how lucky he was that his family had accepted he was gay. It could have gone much differently, he'd heard horror stories of kids being disowned after coming out to their parents.

 

But before they said good-bye, Donna reminded him to call Josh and MacKenzie. Then, Jensen got her to promise she would call the telephone company in the morning and have them change his parent's number so the press would stop hounding her. A couple of "I love you's" and a pledge to call back in a few days, and Jensen closed his cell phone.

 

Looking at the clock again, Jensen started to worry. It was nearly 6:30 p.m. and even with traffic, Jared should have been home by now. Dialing his lover's number again, he paced restlessly, hoping this time Jared would pick up. He was in luck.

 

"Hey, I was just about to call you. Clif told me you rang," Jared exclaimed.

 

"Where are you?" Jensen responded matter-of-factly.

 

"No, hello, I love you Jared?"

 

"Jare-" Jensen ground his name out between his teeth. It had been a long, trying day and he just wanted Jared home - now.

 

"Ah I see, crabby boyfriend. Lose at golf again?" Jared joked. "Sorry, Jen, but we ran late on set. A boom got in the last shot and we had to re-do it. We didn't leave Burnaby until about fifteen minutes ago. So I'm about twenty minutes from your place. You order the Chinese yet?"

 

From Jared's lack of concern for anything except his stomach, Jensen knew he didn't know about their video premiere on You Tube and TMZ. And Jensen didn't want to explain it over the phone, so he decided not to go into details but instead said, "No, I haven't ordered the Chinese yet, something came up. Look whatever you do, don't stop on your way here. Don't answer your phone unless it's me and for God's sake don't listen to any of your voicemail messages!"

 

Taking a deep breath, Jensen continued, "Get Clif to drop you around the back of the building and come upstairs immediately."

 

Jared answered back quickly, his deep voice simmering with barely checked desire. "Ah, we're playing one of those games tonight, uh? So who am I this time? Naughty schoolboy to your older, more experienced teacher, or maybe I can play the bad-boy burglar who breaks into your place and ravishes the beautiful unsuspecting homeowner?"

 

Jensen sighed with exasperation. Trust Jared to find something sexual in a simple request, but then his boyfriend's very fertile imagination was one thing he usually appreciated. Not tonight, however. Tonight they had serious issues to discuss.

 

"No, Jared, we aren't playing a game. Listen, I don't want to tell you about it over the phone, but something's happened," Jensen said, and his quiet voice, had an ominous quality.

 

There was a brief silence, then Jared demanded in a troubled voice, "Is everything all right? Your parents? Josh? Mac?"

 

He answered with staid calmness, not wanting to alarm Jared until his lover could get home and they could deal with this together, in person.

 

"No, nothing is wrong with my family. It's just...this...situation happened today and I want to talk to you about it when you get here, okay?"

 

"Okay. Shit, Jensen, for a minute there I was really worried. You're sure everything's fine?"

 

Jensen thought for an instant. Despite the turmoil of being outed on the Internet, being the lead headline on TMZ, Perez Hilton and E! Entertainment News, and acknowledging he was gay to his closest friends and family all in one afternoon, Jensen finally realized he was more than fine, he was blessed.

 

Steve was going to dedicate that night's Vegas show to Jared and him in support of lovers everywhere, gay and straight, who find that special someone to share their life with.

 

Chris had been willing to fly to another country and kick the ass of any homophobe who dared to give Jared and him a hard time.

 

Mike. Well, Mike was Mike and probably at this moment he was trying to talk Tom into starring in their own gay version of One Night in Paris. But Jensen knew that both of his former Smallville castmates understood all too well what it was like to fall in love with your male co-star and have to hide it from the world. And they would be there in a heartbeat if Jensen or Jared ever asked. Mike may be the biggest attention-seeking fame whore on the planet, but deep down he was as loyal as the day was long.

 

Jensen knew he had the greatest friends. And even if he hadn't, his family loved him unconditionally. To prove that statement, his mother had invited the Padalecki's over for New Year's! Jared had told his own parents he was bisexual his senior year of high school. So while his boyfriend would have to call them and explain the video, and the fact that he'd been dating Jensen for the last three years, the news that Jared liked men wouldn't be a shock to them.

 

But mostly he was blessed because he had Jared in his life, his bed and most importantly, in his heart. Jensen really had it all. He could find a new career if the CW Network dumped Supernatural because of this mess, but he could never exist without Jared in his life.

 

Jared's voice brought him back to the present.

 

"Jensen. Jensen, you there?"

 

"Yeah, I'm here, Jay. Hey, did I tell you that I loved you today?"

 

"No you didn't," Jared warned mockingly.

 

There was a faint tremor in Jensen's voice as though some emotion had touched him, and he replied, "Well, I'm telling you now. I love you. Come home."

 

As Jensen listened to Jared tell Clif to drop him off at the back of his apartment complex instead of the front, he knew with every fiber of his being that he and Jared would survive this unanticipated calamity. He had been the one wanting to hide their relationship from the public, not Jared. And if anyone ever gave them a hard time about being together, Jensen was convinced Jared would be able to charm them into thinking that their relationship was the greatest thing God had invented since puppies and rainbows. Jared had that power.

 

Because they were stronger together. Always had been, always would be. A little Internet sex scandal couldn't tear them apart.

 

 

 

The End