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"I'm bored," Jared mumbled for the tenth time. "Bored, bored, bored," he sung tunelessly to himself.
He glared at Jensen who was curled up on the couch, pointedly ignoring him, fully engrossed in a book. Jared allowed himself a small smile and the admission that his friend looked kind of cute in his grey sweat pants, over-sized grey t-shirt and thick woolly socks. Glasses on and perched on the end of his nose, Jensen looked comfortable, warm and contented, and definitely not bored. Jared couldn't help being irritated by his friend's contentment and glared again for good measure before continuing to pace up and down the small living room. He growled softly to himself pausing for a moment to stare out of the window at the blinding whiteness besieging them on all sides. Jared leant against the window frame, idly drawing pictures in the condensation gathering on the glass. He scowled at the snowy scene absently drawing the mouth of the smiley face downwards into a frown. Jared sighed again.
Winter had arrived suddenly, and unexpectedly, during the previous night covering the surrounding area in a heavy white blanket that seemed to stretch for miles. The cabin they had rented for the week was completely cut off from the nearest civilisation, which lay ten miles down a now impassable back road. Jared knew it was impassable because an early morning stubborn attempt to drive to the town had nearly resulted in the rented four-wheeled jeep hitting a tree as the vehicle had slid, glided and generally pirouetted across the snow and packed ice. He had eventually admitted defeat at his second near miss, this time a large outcrop of rock, and turned back to the cabin and Jensen who didn't say anything but had his "I told you so" expression pasted on his face. Jared was just glad that the power was still working, but had been dismayed to find no cell phone signal and the cabin's land-line appeared to be down.
Jared stared out of the window again. Night was drawing in and the sky had turned to an inky navy blue/black colour which seemed to accentuate the whiteness of the snow. He sighed loudly again and turned to Jensen. "I'm bored," he said. "Aren't you bored? I'm bored," he slumped down in the large armchair hanging his long legs over one of the chair's arms. He flopped his head back and stared up at the ceiling, his legs idly swinging from side to side. "I'm soooooooo bored," he repeated once again in case Jensen hadn't heard him the first hundred times.
"No kidding," Jensen sighed finally admitting defeat in his attempt to ignore Jared, even though he had long ago, probably back in season one, determined that trying to ignore his six foot five inch hyper-energetic friend was totally a lost cause. And today was no different. He had been trying to block Jared out but hadn't even come close and had found himself reading the same paragraph over and over. He glanced sideways at Jared admiring the view. "Stop it," he chastised himself with a silent groan. Somehow and somewhere along the way, Jensen wasn't entirely sure when, Jared had become temptation on legs to him but that was another story and a road that Jensen was definitely not going right now especially not trapped together and totally alone. Instead he laid his book across his lap and looked towards Jared. "It was your idea to come up here," he said evenly. "It'll be fun, you said. It'll be relaxing, you said. It's what we both need, you said," he mimicked Jared's pleading voice.
Jared pouted but was secretly pleased that he had got Jensen's attention at last. "I didn't know it was gonna snow so hard," he defended with another pout. "And trap us forever," he sighed dramatically.
Jensen rolled his eyes at his friend. "Forever?" he quirked an eyebrow at Jared.
"Yeah," Jared nodded. "We're probably gonna die of....," he scrunched up his face deep in thought as he tried to come up with something dramatic enough for their current situation. "Snow blindness or something," he eventually said.
Jensen snorted. "We're gonna die of snow blindness?" he cocked his head to one side, amused. "Dude. You can't die of snow blindness. That's just," Jensen searched for the correct phrase. "Just stupid," he finally settled on.
"It could happen," Jared nodded again. "And since when did you suddenly become a snow illness expert?"
Jensen raised his eyebrows, snorting again. "Have you been at the candy stash again?" he asked.
"No," Jared sulked, even though he had eaten two whole bags of candy when Jensen took a shower earlier in the afternoon. "I'm just...," he started to say.
"Let me guess?" Jensen interrupted with a sigh of his own. "Bored?"
"Well I am," Jared protested. "There's nothing to do."
"Dude. I thought that was the whole point," Jensen argued. "Just kick back and do nothing for a week. You know before we go back to filming some really hard and emotional stuff in the next few episodes."
Despite his initial misgivings about the trip, Jensen was enjoying the peace and quiet the cabin in the middle of nowhere afforded them. They had both been exhausted and drained, but after three days of quiet and tranquillity, Jensen was beginning to feel human again. He felt ready to face up to the last few weeks of filming and hectic shooting schedule. Jensen was enjoying Jared's company, even with the whining and barely controlled hyper-activity, but then he always enjoyed his friend's company. Scarily, Jared made him feel alive, made him feel wanted and needed, even loved. Jensen cursed his traitorous brain and closed his eyes against the thoughts and feelings rushing through his brain and body. Feelings and thoughts that he had long ago pushed down deep inside him. Jared was his best friend and Jensen wasn't going to do anything to ruin the most important friendship in his life, however much it hurt to be close to the object of his desire. The thought made his skin prickle and Jensen suddenly felt hot and flustered. He bit at his bottom lip in effort to force his thoughts away from his feelings for Jared.
Jared was totally oblivious to Jensen's discomfort, idly picking at the seams of his jeans. "I guess," he murmured reluctantly.
Jensen finally got himself under control and opened his eyes staring over at Jared. "And it was totally your idea," he reiterated, proud that his voice didn't give away how he was still feeling inside. "Man. You used the whole nine yards. Even Sam's puppy-dog expression."
Jared blushed slightly, knowing that Jensen was right. The mini vacation had been all his idea, not one of his better ones he was beginning to think, but at the time he hadn't known that they were going to get snowed in without any means of contacting the outside world. Jared had re-charged his batteries during the first three days of their vacation, had played all his own and Jensen's video games to death and now he needed something else to do, something to distract him from his boredom. Jared just wasn't any good at sitting still for long periods of time. He needed to be doing something. Anything. Jared sighed yet again. "I know but it's boring just doing nothing," he said. "I'm not good at doing nothing."
"So I noticed," Jensen teased, earning himself a half-hearted glare from Jared. "Read a book or something," Jensen suggested hopefully.
"I don't want to read a book," Jared pouted like a five year old. He flopped backwards again and resumed staring at the ceiling and his leg swinging.
Jensen breathed a small sigh of relief daring to glance down at his book again, hoping that the subject was now closed, at least for the time being. He was just finding his place on the page again when Jared leapt out of his chair.
"I've got an idea," Jared grinned happily. "Be right back. You'll love it. It's kinda awesome," he shouted as he launched himself up the stairs noisily.
"Oh good," Jensen groaned to himself, dread filling him. Jared's good ideas usually descended rapidly into some kind of chaos, usually involving candy or beer or both. "Shoot me now," he mumbled as he flung his book to the end of the couch, instinctively knowing that Jared wouldn't be letting him read any more in the immediate future. As he placed his glasses on the coffee table, Jensen couldn't help chuckling to himself. His life was never boring or predictable with Jared. It was like a voyage of discovery into a weird world that only inhabited Jared's head. It was sometimes scary but always strangely fun at the same time, and Jensen chuckled again as he idly wondered what Jared had come up with this time.
Jensen didn't have to wait long. Five minutes later Jared flew down the stairs in a flurry of arms and legs grinning like a child overdosed on candy. "Tada," Jared announced loudly with a flourish. He did an inelegant and slightly wobbly pirouette in front of Jensen.
Jensen squinted up at Jared. The first thing that hit him was the black sheet flung across Jared's broad shoulders and Jensen couldn't help wondering where it had come from. He shook his head dismissing the thought almost immediately as he let his eyes slowly roam up and down his friend's lanky body. Jared had changed his clothes and was now dressed in black dress pants and a black shirt open at the neck. Jensen swallowed hard at the sight. Sex and desire on very long legs stood in front of him. "Kill me now," Jensen thought to himself. Just as he was contemplating methods of killing himself slowly and painfully, Jared's excited voice broke through his desire addled brain.
"So?" Jared questioned, an expectant look on his face.
"And just what have you come as?" Jensen arched an eyebrow at Jared.
"Can't you guess?" Jared asked. "I'm getting into character. You know that thing we both do..... acting the part," he explained patiently with a grin.
Jensen gave a small helpless shrug, totally mystified. "Zorro?" he made a wild guess. "Without the sword and hat."
"No. Guess again," Jared frowned at Jensen's suggestion.
Jensen cast his eyes over Jared's costume again. "Dracula.... without the teeth," he offered, completely baffled.
"Dude," Jared rolled his eyes. "I don't look anything like Dracula," he said giving himself a quick look over to make sure.
"I got it," Jensen interrupted with a grin. "You're the evil villain in an old black and white movie.... but without the twirly moustache thingy going on."
"Jensen," Jared protested loudly. "You suck at guessing," he accused as he swept the sheet in a wide arc swiping the tv controller off the coffee table in his enthusiasm. "I am the Great Padalecki. Master Magician," he produced a pack of cards from his pocket, fanning them out for Jensen to see.
"Oh," Jensen couldn't think of anything else to say, still convinced that Jared looked like a black and white movie villain. "And the sheet?" he couldn't help asking, immediately knowing that he would regret the question.
"All magicians have cloaks," Jared ignored Jensen's scorn at his costume.
"They do?" Jensen said as he wracked his brain trying to think of a modern day magician that wore a cloak.
"And most of them use mirrors for their tricks but I'm gonna improvise," Jared announced proudly.
"And mirrors?" Jensen mulled over Jared's statement as all kinds of x-rated images insisted on popping into his head. Jensen swallowed hard dismissing his thoughts firmly. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah on both counts," Jared nodded. "It's like a rule or something."
"You haven't got a rabbit stuffed up there somewhere have you?" Jensen teased with a smirk.
"No," Jared said, not able to hide the disappointment in his tone. A rabbit would be so cool, he thought to himself. Jared shook his head deciding that in the absence of a rabbit, he would just have to make do with the cards. "Pick a card," he thrust the cards at Jensen. In his enthusiasm, Jared lost his grip on the deck and accidentally sprayed all of the cards towards Jensen. He watched as the deck of cards flew up into the air and then flutter gracefully to the floor, the couch, the coffee table and the surrounding area, leaving him with only two cards in his hand.
Jensen snorted in laughter as he picked up the only card that had fallen into his lap and looked at it. The King of Hearts. His laughter turned to embarrassment and he immediately blushed bright red. Of all the cards to land in his lap, it had to be a Heart card. "I hate my life," he thought to himself as he looked up at Jared, hoping that his friend hadn't noticed his sudden flush. Jensen waved his hand at the scattered cards in an effort to distract himself and Jared. "Any one in particular," Jensen asked. "Because I gotta tell you," he said pointing at Jared's hand. "A card trick with only two cards is kinda lame." Jared looked down at the two cards in his hand, silently cursing his clumsiness. He let out a disappointed sigh and glanced back at Jensen. Noting the downcast look on Jared's face, Jensen started to gather up the cards, for some reason really wanting Jared to finish his trick.
Jared glared at the cards strewn around him. He watched as Jensen started to retrieve the cards and suddenly felt much better, for some reason. Jensen always made him feel better, made him feel less of a klutz and made him feel like the most graceful person on the planet, even though it was far from the truth. But Jared had long ago decided not to analyse the feelings that Jensen stirred deep within him. Jared dragged his mind away from Jensen and back to his magic tricks.
He gave a small shrug, brightening at the thought of his next trick. "OK. So card tricks suck big time," Jared grinned, his good mood magically restored. "But my next trick will blow you away," he grinned again. He mimicked a drum roll with his hands. "And for my next trick," Jared announced gleefully. "I need a volunteer from the audience," Jared said with a flourish of his cloak, this time knocking some of the cards Jensen had retrieved back onto the floor. Ignoring them, Jared pretended to search the room for a suitable volunteer. "You'll do," he finally pointed a long finger at Jensen. Jensen rolled his eyes making Jared's grin even wider. "Now don't be shy," Jared coaxed.
Jared's good humour was contagious and Jensen found himself on his feet standing next to Jared as his friend swept his makeshift cloak in a couple of wild arcs, finished off with another small wobbly pirouette. Jared knocked into him briefly but even then Jensen couldn't help smiling at Jared's antics and obvious enthusiasm.
"Tada," Jared held his left arm up into the air. Jensen's mouth dropped open. He didn't know how it had happened, hadn't felt it happen but somehow he was now looking up at his right wrist, secured with a pair of handcuffs to Jared's left wrist. "Impressed or what?" Jared beamed happily as he brought their joined wrists back downwards.
"How... how?" Jensen managed to stutter.
"The magic guy who taught Barry Bostwick how to do the card tricks in the douche bag episode," Jared explained with a happy smile. "He taught me a couple of neat trick things. He was so cool."
"I hope one of those neat tricks was how to escape?" Jensen cocked his head to one side. He shook his wrist experimentally. The cuffs were firmly secured.
"Of course," Jared shot Jensen a hurt look. "That's the piece de resistance," he said in a slightly strangled French accent.
"Just wondering," Jensen defended, shaking the cuffs once again. "So come on magic boy. Do your stuff and magic us free," he encouraged holding up their cuffed wrists.
"OK. OK," Jared huffed. "Damn I hate pushy volunteers." He tried to twirl but realised that he still had Jensen attached to his arm so settled instead for a one-handed swirl of his cloak. He shook his wrist twice confident that the cuffs would automatically release as he had been shown. Nothing.
"Is it just me or should we be free?" Jensen cocked his head to one side again and glared at the still secured cuffs.
"And smart ass ones," Jared mumbled mainly to himself. "OK. Give me a minute," Jared huffed as he flicked his wrist, followed by a more forceful shake. He couldn't understand it, the cuffs should automatically release at the shake of a wrist. It had worked every time when the magician/consultant had taught him the trick. Jared shook his wrist again and again, harder and harder, totally ignoring that he was also shaking Jensen's wrist more and more violently. "Damn things," he cursed.
"Jared," Jensen managed to grab hold of Jared's wrist with his free hand on a frantic "up" movement. "Quit with the shaking," Jensen protested.
"Got to get the damn things off," Jared glared at Jensen shaking off his hand. "The guy said you shook them and they came off," he demonstrated with yet another furious and fierce bout of shaking of their joined wrists.
"Jared," Jensen repeated. "It's obviously not working dude," he said as calmly as he could, even though his mind and body were in turmoil. Jared had touched him many times before, was always hugging and touching him but somehow today, unexpectedly joined together, was different and it was freaking him out. Jensen could feel the warmth of Jared's skin against his own and he could feel his whole body flush at the contact. "I will not freak out. I will not freak out," he repeated in his head over and over. Jensen wanted the cuffs off now and not just because he was attached to Jared. His wrist was starting to hurt and he could see that Jared's own wrist was becoming reddened with the constant shaking.
Before Jensen could say anything more, Jared whooped loudly and jumped up and down excitedly. "Be right back," he turned to leave, totally forgetting their current predicament.
Jensen's arm jerked slightly as Jared moved towards the stairs and he jolted forwards. "Hey," Jensen tugged on the cuffs, managing to stop Jared in his tracks. "Kinda joined here," he glared at Jared.
"Oh yeah. Sorry," Jared apologised sheepishly. "Forgot you were my shadow," he said with a grin.
"Am not your shadow," Jensen objected with a frown.
"You're shorter ... so you have to be my shadow," Jared said. "It's obvious. I'm tall. You're short. So you must be the shadow," he finished with a grin, pleased with his own unique brand of logic.
"Not in some lights," Jensen interrupted, not quite believing he was having this argument but Jared did that to him sometimes, knocked him off kilter, involved him in weird conversations. "You could totally be my long shadow," he argued. "And I'm not short. You're just freakishly tall," Jensen pouted slightly.
Jared snorted. "OK. If it makes you happy, you're tall too..... Mr Shadow," he added with a cheeky smirk. "But get your ass in gear," he tugged on the cuffs. "I've got an emergency key," he said with a happy smile. "Freedom awaits," Jared dragged Jensen across the room and up the stairs towards his bedroom.
Once in Jared's bedroom, Jensen slumped down on the bed. It was awkward but they managed it with Jensen leaning forwards slightly as Jared sat cross-legged on the floor. Jared pulled his suitcase from underneath the bed flipping the lid open. Jared rummaged through the jumbled assortment of clothes, frantically searching for the key he knew was inside somewhere. "Come on. Come on," he chanted to himself as he searched.
Jensen watched silently concentrating on breathing in and out deeply in an attempt to keep himself calm. His wrist jolted every now and again as Jared shifted in his search. "Have you found it yet?" Jensen asked after a few moments of watching Jared.
"Give me time dude," Jared snapped as he flung t-shirts over his head in his attempt to find the missing key. "It's here somewhere. I know it is," he said as he flung a pair of jeans across the room. "You just have to be damn patient."
"OK," Jensen said quietly.
"Sorry," Jared glanced up at his friend. Jensen gave him a small smile and a nod and Jared knew that he was forgiven for snapping. He went back to his frantic search. Suddenly his hand glanced across something cold at the bottom of the case. Moving odd socks to one side, Jared stared down at his find. His heart pounded in his chest and he licked at his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. Jared pushed down the momentary stab of panic tinged with guilt before groaning at his stupidity. "No. No. No," he muttered as he leaned forwards and banged his head over and over on the edge of the bed.
"Jared," Jensen said alarmed. "What's wrong?" Jared mumbled into the comforter, his words completely unintelligible as he continued to pound his head against the bed.
"What?" Jensen asked. "I didn't get a word of that. Jared?"
"I said," Jared raised his head and peered up at Jensen. "I think I used the wrong cuffs."
"What?" Jensen squeaked.
"I said...," Jared started to repeat.
"I know what you said," Jensen interrupted, irritated. "And I am so not gonna ask," Jensen said eyeing the second pair of hand cuffs clutched in Jared's hands. "Why you have two pairs of cuffs in your suitcase."
Jared couldn't help himself and he blushed bright red. "It was for the trick," he whispered. "You need....," he started to explain.
"Don't ," Jensen put his free hand up stopping Jared mid-sentence. "Just don't. OK?"
"It was an accident," Jared protested with a frown, desperately wanting to explain, wanting Jensen to understand. "You're meant to show the audience the real pair Get them tested and stuff," he thrust the fake cuffs at Jensen. "And.... and then use the fake ones... ones for the trick," he stammered, still blushing bright red. "But I thought I'd skip that part of the trick.... and... and I guess I picked up the wrong pair by mistake. I'm so sorry Jensen," he apologised.
Jensen took a deep calming breath. He knew, from the look on Jared's face, that it was a genuine mistake - a completely stupid Jared type mistake - but a genuine one. Jensen blew out another breath. "OK," he said finally. "You have the key. Right?"
"Well," Jared stuttered blushing even redder. "I don't suppose you have a hair grip?" he ducked his head slightly.
"What?" Jensen squeaked. "No I don't have a damn hair grip. You're the one with the girly long hair," he said with a roll of his eyes. He shook his head in exasperation at Jared. "But you have a key? Right?" Jensen's voice rose, as his internal panic rose up. "Please tell me you've found the key," he said, not able to keep the desperation out of his tone.
"Well I thought I had it with me," Jared replied sheepishly. "But it's not here," he admitted quietly. "I can't seem to find it."
Jensen stared at Jared in silent horror for a moment. Being cuffed to Jared was his worst nightmare or greatest dream - Jensen couldn't decide which at this moment in time and his brain wasn't helping matters at all as it insisted on conjuring up images of a naked Jared cuffed to a bed with Jensen, equally naked, sitting on Jared's thighs as he leant forwards licking and sucking at his friend's nipples. Jensen flushed scarlet at the thoughts whirling around his head and shifted slightly on the bed, moving as far away from Jared as the cuffs would allow. Jared remained oblivious to his discomfort, staring forlornly at his suitcase as if he could magic the handcuff key out of no-where. Jensen counted to ten in his head in an effort to soothe himself and stop his heart from thudding in his chest, already convinced that Jared could probably hear his heart beat. He supposed with a sigh that someone would have to be cool-headed and sensible and even if his stomach was churning and his head was spinning, Jensen guessed it was down to him. He had witnessed it many times before - Jared in a crisis was not a pretty sight. "OK," Jensen finally managed to say, proud that he managed to keep his tone even and calm.
Jared looked up at Jensen. He narrowed his eyes slightly and for some reason he would never be able to explain to anyone, even himself, Jared saw red, insanely irritated by Jensen's calm demeanour. He could feel his anger pulse white hot through his veins interspersed with hints of guilt and embarrassment. "OK," he shouted as he leapt to his feet, his movement hauling Jensen to his feet at the same time. "OK. OK. Stop saying OK. Just what the hell is OK about this?" he thrust their joined wrists at Jensen, shaking them wildly under his friend's nose. "Just tell me and I'll die happy?" Jared glared at Jensen.
Jensen had been right, had expected the reaction from Jared but even so he couldn't help glaring back. "Nothing is OK about it," he said evenly, trying to keep his own anger in control.
"Do something," Jared snapped.
"You do something," Jensen snarled. "You got us into this mess in the first place," he accused. "The Great Padalecki. Give me a break," he rolled his eyes.
Jared ignored the insult. "Pick the lock or something," he tugged at Jensen. His wrist was beginning to ache and Jared glanced down noting the angry red circular mark on his skin. Out of the corner of his eye, he also noted that Jensen's wrist had a matching red mark. Jared's inner guilt rose a notch and that coupled with his desperation to escape fuelled his anger.
"We already established we don't have a hair grip between us," Jensen stated dryly. "And anyways I can't pick locks," he protested.
Jared scowled. "Yes you can," Jared snapped again. "You do it all the time."
"No," Jensen replied. "Dean Winchester picks locks all the time. I just pick the locks the guys in the props department have set up for us. Just like you do," he leant towards Jared slightly. "And reality check here... they're not proper locks."
"Smart ass," Jared glared angrily. "So think of something already then," he yelled.
"You think of something," Jensen countered, his anger rising.
"OK," Jared said trying to compose himself. "Shouting isn't getting us outta these," he shook their wrists again, instantly regretting the motion as a sharp pain shot up his arm.
"No kidding," Jensen mumbled as he absently rubbed at his own sore wrist.
Jared ignored the comment, biting at his lips. He scrunched up his face as he tried to come up with a plan to escape the cuffs. "I know," he said finally. "We could go to one of the neighbours and they could cut us free," Jared suggested. "With an axe or something."
"Right," Jensen arched an eyebrow at Jared. "So correct me if I'm wrong here. But our nearest neighbours are down the track. The track you tried to drive down this morning. And failed," he said.
"We could go on foot," Jared insisted. "I'm sure we could make it."
"And freeze to death half way there," Jensen interjected. "How do we get our coats on?" he held up their joined wrists. "And anyway if we turn up chained together..... like some kinda escapees from a chain gang... well they're gonna freak out. I know I would."
"Stop it," Jared yelled, his temper surfacing once again.
"Stop what?" Jensen asked, genuinely confused.
"Being sensible all over the place," Jared waved his free hand in the air. "You're driving me nuts," he said as he started to pace around the room, dragging a silent Jensen behind him.
Jared bit at his lips knowing that he was being unfair to Jensen. It wasn't his friend's fault that they were joined together - it was all his fault. "You are so stupid Padalecki," he cursed himself silently. Being this close to Jensen was seriously panicking him. He hugged Jensen all the time but the touches were fleeting and temporary, but Jared had been experiencing, and he admitted to himself even savouring, Jensen's warmth for over half an hour and it was making him feel frightened that he would give himself away. His hidden, and so carefully controlled, feelings for Jensen were insisting on surfacing, despite all his efforts to push them deep inside him. Jared had never intended facing up to his feelings for Jensen, happy with the friendship they shared and enjoyed. But being locked together had the effect of making him want, desire and even need Jensen's warmth and not just for a moment in time, but forever. "You suck Padalecki," he cursed himself silently.
"Dude," Jensen protested after the fifth circle of the room. "This isn't get us free," he observed patiently. "We're just wearing a hole in the carpet."
"I like pacing. It helps me think," Jared countered and proceeded to drag Jensen around the room again. Jensen reluctantly decided that his best course of action at the moment was to follow Jared around the room in the hope that his friend would settle down. Strangely, and despite their current predicament and Jared's bad temper, Jensen couldn't help thinking that it was oddly calming. His previous near-to-fractured nerves had magically disappeared and he felt weirdly relaxed. Jensen smiled to himself - Jared always had that effect on him.
On the twentieth silent circuit of the room, however, Jensen was beginning to feel dizzy. Jared was mumbling to himself and he could almost feel the tension bouncing off Jared's body. "Why are you freaking out?" Jensen couldn't help asking.
"I'm not freaking out," Jared snarled as he stopped abruptly in his tracks, making an unsuspecting Jensen run into his back. "You're freaking out."
"I'm not freaking out," Jensen defended with a pout. "I'm not the one circling the room like a caged animal."
Jared glared at Jensen. "Well you're freaking me out.... with your stupid calmness and.... and your let's be reasonable thingy you're doing all over the place."
"Jared," Jensen started to say, placing his free hand on Jared's arm.
Jared flinched. "I can't be joined to you," he interrupted with a wail. "I just can't. I can't," he repeated in desperation. Jared looked at Jensen pleading with him silently to understand, but from the anguished look on Jensen's face, all Jared had managed to do was hurt his friend. He cursed himself silently, wondering how he had ever imagined Jensen would know how he was feeling if he, himself, didn't know how he was feeling. Jared groaned softly, his guilt mounting and threatening to choke him.
The words stung Jensen more than he ever thought they would and from the look of guilt that crossed Jared's face briefly, he knew that the hurt had showed in his expression. "Oh," Jensen couldn't think of anything else to say, stunned into silence. The hurt churned and swirled in his stomach and he dropped his head, staring at the floor distractedly calling upon every skill he possessed to conjure up his most neutral expression. Jensen took a deep breath before dragging his eyes back upwards to look at Jared. The ache he felt deep within him at Jared's words had upset him and Jensen disengaged brain saying the first thing that came into his head. "Let's go to bed."
"What?" Jared squeaked horror-struck, all thoughts of his guilt and hurting Jensen vanishing at the words. He took a step backwards and another forgetting that there was no escape, his panicked backward motions only serving to pull Jensen even closer.
"To sleep," Jensen blushed furiously, wanting the floor to open up so he could disappear into nothing. "To sleep. To sleep," he repeated in case Jared hadn't understood the first time.
"Oh," Jared managed to stutter.
"Then perhaps in the morning, we can make it down the track or something. I'm sure we can come up with something so we don't freeze to death," Jensen gave a small shrug. "Sound OK to you?"
"Yeah. OK," Jared nodded.
"Your bed or mine?" Jensen asked as calmly as he could even though his heart was thudding loudly in his chest and his mouth was dry again. "You can do this. You can do this," he chanted in his head.
"What?" Jared squeaked again, not ever realising that his voice could go that high.
"Kinda joined here," Jensen reminded, nodding at their wrists.
"Oh," Jared said. "Yeah. Oh. Right. OK," he babbled. "Mine OK?"
"Sure," Jensen said as he gently encouraged Jared towards the bed.
Going to bed should be easy but it's not. It's awkward and uncomfortable for both men, with each of them trying not to accidentally touch the other. They end up under the comforter, fully dressed, but almost hanging off the edge of their respective side of the bed, the cuffs' chain stretched taut between them.
Jensen stared up at the ceiling lost in his thoughts. Lost in his hurt at Jared's words which he can't seem to get out of his head. Pushing aside his misery Jensen rolled his head slightly on the pillow just about making out Jared's outline in the darkness of the room. Jared is laying on his back, arms at his side, almost like a soldier on formal guard duty. His eyes are firmly closed feigning sleep but Jensen can feel the restless tension in his friend's body. It's thrumming through Jared's body vibrating right through to Jensen's own body. Jensen can see, and sense, that Jared isn't comfortable. He's unnaturally motionless, seemingly holding himself as still as possible and even in the darkness Jensen can see the effort Jared is putting into his posture, the slight tremors wracking his body every now and again negating the impression he is trying to project. It's quiet, the silence bouncing off the walls of the bedroom. Jared's quiet and Jensen really can't remember ever seeing his friend so silent, so still and he suddenly misses the constant movement, energy and noise that personifies his friend.
"Jared," Jensen finally whispers into the darkness.
Jared really wants to ignore Jensen and hide deep within himself, but he can't bring himself to be that cruel to his friend. His whole body feels so tense and wound up tightly that Jared thinks he might explode in a spectacular burst of blood and guts. Jensen is his best friend and he knows that talking to the older man will help relax him - Jensen always has that effect him, calms him when he wants to panic or gets himself over-excited. Mind made up, Jared forces his eyes open and looks towards Jensen. "Mmmmm," he mutters non-committally.
"I'm sorry," Jensen whispers. "For freaking you out. And for being... well... you know,"
"Sensible all over the place," Jared finishes for him.
"Yeah," Jensen gives a small smile and rolls awkwardly onto his side to face Jared.
"Well somebody has to be," Jared stretches slightly. "I think I kinda missed out on sensible when they were handing it out. Knowing me I was probably in the candy stash or standing in line for extra over-excited and noisy," he says.
Jensen snorts softly. "Yeah probably," he teases, glad that Jared seems to be relaxing slightly.
Jared can feel the tension draining out of his body and mirrors Jensen by rolling on his side. "Jensen," he says, his expression earnest. "It's not you. You've nothing to be sorry about man. This," he shakes their joined hands. "Is all my stupid fault. I'm the one who should be sorry. "I am such an idiot sometimes."
"Just sometimes?" Jensen jokes quirking an eyebrow at Jared.
"Yeah OK smart ass," Jared concedes with a grin. "Alright most of the time. But really it's not your fault," he awkwardly gripped Jensen's hand. "You always make me feel better. Calm me down when I'm going hyper and being annoying all over the place. You're sorta .....like peace to my chaos."
"Really?" Jensen asked, surprised at Jared's words and his sudden honesty.
"Yeah," Jared replied with a nod, releasing Jensen's hand.
"You going all chick flick on me?" Jensen smirks.
"Jerk," Jared countered.
"Bitch," Jensen chuckles. They lay in companionable silence for a moment, each man lost in their own thoughts. Jensen grinned mischievously staring across at Jared. "So I guess a shower's outta the question," he teased with another smile.
"I take it all back," Jared mock pouted, as he rolled onto his back staring up at the ceiling again. "Asshole," he whispered.
"Back at you," Jensen responded with a small laugh.
Jared chuckled, glad that they had seemingly found their groove again. He shifted, wriggling trying to get comfortable, but finding it difficult with his arm attached to Jensen. He glanced sideways sensing that Jensen was just as uncomfortable. Jared blew out a frustrated sigh. "Can we go downstairs?" he asked. "Play some video games, watch tv or play some music? I just... just can't sleep."
"Me neither," Jensen agreed as he levered himself up into a sitting position. "I'll beat your ass at guitar hero," he challenged with a smirk.
"You wish," Jared retorted. "Even one handed, I'll beat your ass."
Half an hour later.....
After half an hour of trying to play one handed, it quickly became apparent to both men that the video game was a lost cause. Jared's nervousness had disappeared and he was bouncing up and down, excited. "One more try," he pleaded. "We can work this out," Jared shook their joined wrists.
"Dude," Jensen protested.
"It's just a matter of co-ordination and team work," Jared insisted with a smile. "And we kick ass at team work," he grinned.
"Yeah we do," Jensen agreed. "But this is kinda different."
"Please," Jared pleaded, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Without warning and forgetting, once again, that they were joined, Jared pulled his arm around for another try at the game.
Jensen wasn't ready for the movement and found himself tugged forcibly towards Jared. They collided and both men instinctively steadied the other with their free hand. Miraculously still upright, they found themselves face to face and they stared at each other for what seemed like ages. They traded frowns and a small smile but didn't look away, each trying to gauge the other's expression. Expressions that were suddenly open and honest, telling the other exactly what he needed to know, needed to believe. Both flushed slightly but still didn't look away, each holding the other's gaze. A strange kind of silence seemed to echo around them, blocking out the music they had put on earlier, and filling the room. It surrounded them in a blanket of stillness and calm, their suddenly ragged breathing the only sound piercing the quiet. The 'elephant in the room' they had both been stubbornly ignoring for months was suddenly free, out in the open, and reflected in their mirrored expressions.
Jared wanted to let go of Jensen but couldn't bring himself to release the connection and he could see that his friend felt the same. It was written all over his face and Jared hoped, with his whole being, that his expression was imitating Jensen's. All Jared's secret hopes and dreams, everything that he had denied himself, seemed to be reflected in the greenness of Jensen's eyes. His expression held a promise and so much more. And Jared decided, there and then, that he was no longer going to be coward and freak out. He was going to face up to his feelings and the promise in Jensen's eyes was something he was determined to explore. Jared smiled at Jensen.
Jensen couldn't really believe what he was seeing in Jared's eyes. So many emotions - need, want, even love. It was so overwhelming that if they weren't joined he may have run and hidden himself away. Instead he held Jared's gaze for a moment before giving him a small shy smile. Mind made up and taking a deep breath, Jensen stepped back slightly, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Jared but his body away from Jared's. He shook his head slightly as Jared took a step towards him, wanting and needing to touch Jensen. Jared frowned slightly but decided to let Jensen take the lead, trusting that Jensen knew what he was doing.
It caught Jared by surprise when Jensen started to dance but found himself not being able to tear his eyes away from the older man and the soft undulating movements. Swaying his hips in time to the soft music, Jensen slowly raised their joined arms upwards, between them. He splayed out his hand silently encouraging Jared to mimic his action. Palms touching, the warmth seeping into his skin, Jensen continued to move slowly. Only their palms touched and somehow Jared found it incredibly erotic as they moved in synchronicity, each mimicking the other's movements. Jared let himself be guided by Jensen, noticing that the older man seemed to interpret the music with his whole body right from their joined hands down to his hips and then down to his socked feet. Jensen's movements were sensual and inviting, his eyes, the depths filled with desire and hunger, never leaving Jared's. A small smile played on Jensen's lips as he rolled his shoulders in time with the rhythm of the music, his movements fluid and graceful. He leant forwards slightly blowing on Jared's neck, teasing the younger man. Jared shivered.
Jensen smirked as he pulled back. He continued to dance, his movements soft and sensual, every move designed to torment Jared. Jared licked at his lips and let his eyes roam hungrily up and down Jensen's body, wanting and needing.
Jensen swayed gently as he moved closer and closer. Jared groaned in the back of his throat as their bodies brushed against each other and he thought he could feel the electricity the contact produced through every one of his nerve endings and from the expression on Jensen's face, he felt the same. This touch was different from anything that had gone before and they both knew that something subtle had changed between them, probably forever. Jared shivered and sucked in a silent breath as Jensen blew on his skin again. Impatient, Jared stilled Jensen's movements lacing the fingers of their joined hands together.
Feeling suddenly brave, Jared pulled Jensen even closer. Jensen quirked an eyebrow at him and Jared could almost see the challenge in the older man's eyes. Jared leaned forwards at the same time as Jensen, their lips softly touching into their first kiss. Jared ran his tongue along Jensen's lips, requesting entry, smiling when the older man moaned in appreciation and opened his mouth. The floodgates of their need opened, and suddenly desperate they clutched at each other deepening the kiss, tongues tangling and duelling as they explored the other's mouth. Lack of breath finally forced them apart and they reluctantly pulled back from the kiss to smile at each other but still keeping a hold of one another, almost afraid to let go as their free hands caressed the other's back. Desperate to taste Jared again, Jensen pulled on his head impatiently until their lips touched once again. Kissing fiercely and claiming each other, they unleashed the passion and need that had been smouldering under the surface for weeks, months and years.
Jared reluctantly pulled back again. "How about that shower now?" he asked shyly, not able to stop the blush on his face.
Jensen gave a small jerky nod. "Sounds like a plan," he whispered, his own blush matching Jared's.
Jared shivered in anticipation as he drew Jensen back into his arms. They kissed hungrily, grinding their growing arousals against each other.
Five minutes later......
They stood in the bathroom staring at each other. A nervous tension seemed to have descended upon them filling the small room threatening to overwhelm them with its intensity. "Kinda scared," Jared admitted with another flush.
"Me too," Jensen admitted. He knew that he loved Jared, wanted Jared, but he also knew that someone had to say something, act as the voice of reason, before it was too late for both of them. "If we do this thing," he said quietly, waving a hand at them both. "I don't think there ...... there will be any going back," he stammered. "Not for me anyway. I couldn't.... couldn't walk away. Not now."
Jared studied Jensen carefully. His face was scarily devoid of all emotion but as he looked more closely, Jared saw a flash of hunger and need reflected in the green eyes coupled with a tinges of love, fear and hope. Jared knew that he had probably made his mind up a long time ago. He needed Jensen. He loved Jensen, and knew they could be good together, happy, and suspected that it was the same for Jensen. He pulled Jensen towards him. "This thing is something we shoulda done a long time ago," Jared said firmly. "And I couldn't walk away from you either. I want it. I want you."
"Yeah?" Jensen looked up at Jared, a hopeful expression on his face.
Jared had never been surer of anything in his life. "Yeah," he nodded.
"What about... about stuff? You know work... and stuff," Jensen shrugged slightly.
"We'll work it out," Jared replied confidently. "Together. OK?"
"OK," Jensen smiled happily at Jared. He knew that they had a lot of things to work out, but somehow he knew that they would. Together. But now was a different matter. Here and now, it was just the two of them, wanting and needing. Jensen smiled again before claiming Jared's lips in another kiss.
Despite the hand cuffs joining them, they managed to get naked in record time, the scissors in the first aid kit ridding them both of their shirts. This time, Jared took the lead stepping into the bath tub pulling Jensen with him. Jared offered up a silent prayer thanking whoever was up there for the large bath tub which accommodated them both easily.
Jared fiddled with the taps adjusting the temperature of the water until it was just right - not too hot and not too cold. Hands clasped, they stood under the water letting it beat down onto their nakedness for a moment. Jared turned slightly and smiled at Jensen. "I think I love you," he whispered as he stole a kiss.
"Think?" Jensen cocked his head to one side.
"Know," Jared immediately corrected, pulling Jensen into an embrace. "I know that I love you."
Jensen smiled. "Me too. Love you," he whispered as he leaned forwards claiming Jared's lips in a passionate kiss rubbing his nakedness against Jared's own nakedness.
"Good," Jared moaned tightening his hold of Jensen. He deepened the kiss by pressing his tongue between Jensen's lip to once again explore the warmth of his friend's mouth.
Moaning in need as their tongues met, each duelling for dominance, they lost themselves in the desire for each other. The warm water gently caressed their bodies as they moved against one another, gently undulating. It wasn't awkward, uncomfortable or clumsy, instead it was as if their bodies had been made to fit together, natural and graceful. Necks and shoulders were licked, sucked and bruised with marks they each would carry with them for the next few days as a reminder. Moaning with pleasure, they explored the unfamiliar territory of one another's body. Ignoring the water bouncing of their skin, they pressed their nakedness against each other revelling in the feel of dampened skin against dampened skin as they moved as one. Hands, tongues and lips probed and massaged every dip and curve of the other's neck and shoulder as they pressed closer and closer. They continued to kiss enthusiastically whilst at the same time rubbing and grinding their bodies against one another in an erotic and intimate dance.
Breathless they pulled back from their kisses. Both had swollen lips, flushed faces and both were completely soaked, water droplets running down naked skin and hair flattened to heads. They grinned at each other. Reaching forward, Jared quickly adjusted the power of the water angling the shower head away from them to prevent the spray becoming too intrusive.
"I can't believe this is real," Jensen breathed as he ran his free hand up and down Jared's arm.
"Me neither," Jared smiled. "But it is," he leaned forward again, wanting and needing to kiss Jensen again. He captured Jensen's lips in a kiss that threatened to overwhelm both men. Pulling back Jared smiled at the whimper of protest from Jensen. He leant forwards flicking his tongue out licking at the water droplets on Jensen's offered shoulder tracing a path to the base of the slender neck, luxuriating in the unique taste that was all Jensen. Jensen turned his head and their lips met again in a kiss full of love and warmth. Releasing Jensen from the kiss, Jared ran his hand down the older man's body indulging himself in the feel of the wet skin as he thrust his cock forwards.
Feeling bold, Jensen dropped his free hand and stroked his fingers lightly down Jared's length, eliciting an appreciative moan. "Like that?" he smiled as he removed his hand from Jared's groin.
"Oh God. Yes," Jared breathed as he ran his hand down Jensen's back and over his ass. "You're so beautiful," Jared whispered as he traced a finger up and down Jensen's wet silky skin.
Jensen shivered at the touch. "So are you," he murmured as his hand traced small circle shapes on Jared's belly. Jensen leaned forward claiming Jared's lips once again.
"Touch me again," Jared murmured in Jensen's ear as he pulled back from the kiss.
"Jared," Jensen sighed as he moved his hand slowly down towards Jared's groin again. Jared's breathing hitched in his throat as Jensen lazily ran his fingers up and down his half hard cock. Jared groaned in ecstasy pushing his cock into Jensen's willing hand feeling it harden and swell as he possessed Jensen's lips in a fervent kiss. Jensen responded eagerly by thrusting his tongue in and out of Jared's mouth in tandem to the hand that was gently stroking Jared's cock.
Jared returned Jensen's kisses with a ferocity he hadn't known he possessed until this moment. His free hand roamed restlessly over Jensen's body and he silently cursed that he couldn't use both hands. Jared couldn't help smiling though and he glanced down at their cuffed wrists to see their hands still tightly joined, fingers laced, as they had been since stepping into the bath tub.
"Please," Jensen moaned as he tugged on Jared's hand moving it firmly down between their bodies. Jared rubbed and massaged Jensen's cock and balls revelling in the feeling of the quickly hardening length in his hand.
A primal desire took over as they thrust against each other, bodies intimately touching moving rhythmically as one. Stilling their movements for a moment, Jared rested his forehead on Jensen's wallowing in the feeling of Jensen's nakedness against his own. Impatient Jensen thrust his hips outwards grinding his cock against Jared's cock. Jared growled in the back of his throat as he leant forward claiming Jensen's lips once more. Jensen pushed up into the kiss moaning Jared's name. Jared thrust his tongue in and out of Jensen's mouth in tandem with their fluid motions.
The soft sounds of their love making echoed around the tiny bathroom as they whispered each other's names, the cooling water of the shower bouncing off their skin as they moved together as one, lost in passion and their love for each other. They rocked gently against each other, kissing and licking as they explored the other's nakedness with hands, tongues and mouths, memorising and learning every detail of each other's body. They murmured unintelligible words as they writhed against each other. Panting heavily, they finally pulled apart and held each other's gaze. "Hey," Jensen mouthed as he traced a finger up and down Jared's face.
Jared smiled. "Hey back," he breathed.
They leant forward at the same time kissing yet again, each not able to get enough of the other man. Drowning in the sensual feelings they were eliciting, they kissed lazily touching and caressing as they slowly rocked their hips revelling in the heat and friction of the new sensations as their cocks rubbed together. Gradually they began to speed up their rhythm grinding desperately against one another thrusting harder and harder as they moved to bring each other closer and closer towards the heights of passion and fulfilment.
Jared groaned as Jensen nipped and sucked at his skin. Every muscle in his body tensed and he braced his free hand against the tiled wall as he spiralled towards his climax. Jared squeezed his eyes closed and came with a cry, his cock shooting his release between their sweat sheened and shower dampened bodies. He couldn't stop his body jerking uncontrollably as his orgasm overtook him. Jared continued to rub himself against Jensen desperate to maintain their connection and prolong the moment. Covering Jensen's mouth with his own, Jared kissed him hard.
Jensen writhed against Jared moaning his name arching his back slightly. He braced his own free hand against the tiled wall and tightened his grip on Jared's other hand as he descended towards his own climax. Jensen pressed against Jared's nakedness as his cock pulsed spurting his seed between their bodies mixing with Jared's release and covering their bellies, thighs and hips. They continued to rock against one another savouring the last moments of ecstasy, their bodies tingling with the heightened sensitivity and the electricity generated by their love making. They moaned in unison as they milked the last bit of the other's release.
Finally spent, they reluctantly pulled apart. Panting hard, they tried to catch their breath, still holding each other tightly in an embrace. Jared gently lowered them into the bath tub, positioning Jensen between his spread legs. Both men ignored the stream of cool water still bouncing off their bodies as they kissed each other, gentle kisses of love, warmth and belonging.
Much later.......
After they had dragged themselves out of the bath, they had taken turns in drying the other down, stealing the odd kiss as they worked. They had then tumbled into Jared's bed, this time comfortable with each other. It had been awkward with the hand cuffs, but they had managed to find a position that suited them both, legs tangled and as close as the cuffs would allow without putting any strain of either of their already sore wrists.
But Jared couldn't sleep, despite the comforting sleepy warmth of Jensen at his side. He rolled carefully onto his side and trying not to jostle Jensen, he levered himself up, balancing his head on his hand. Jared stared down at his bed companion, still not quite believing that Jensen was here. Here with him in bed after mind blowing sex in the shower. He grinned to himself happily knowing that they had definitely turned a corner in their relationship.
Jared couldn't help himself, mischief filling him. He leaned over and blew gently on Jensen's skin. Jensen murmured and wrinkled his nose before relaxing back into sleep. Jared blew on his skin again, teasing. Jensen murmured and brushed at his face with his free hand. Jared huffed out another breath. Jensen's whole body twitched and he murmured Jared's name. "I hate you," Jensen muttered as he slowly opened his eyes.
Jared chuckled lightly. "No you don't," he whispered, confident.
"No I don't," Jensen agreed. He smiled up at Jared, not quite believing that Jared loved him. Not quite believing that this beautiful, loving and sexy man belonged to him now. Jensen's smile broadened at the thought.
"Do you wanna see a magic trick?" Jared asked with a mischievous grin.
Jensen snorted. "I think one is enough," he rattled the cuffs at Jared.
"But this one is really cool," Jared persisted, grin still intact. "Please," he adopted his best Sam Winchester puppy dog expression. "You'll love it. I promise."
Jensen rolled his eyes, but smiled. "OK. But only because I love you," he reluctantly agreed.
Jared grinned at him. "Love you too," he mouthed, staring at Jensen, his eyes roaming up and down Jensen's body, revelling in the thought that every inch of it belonged to him. Jared grinned again.
Jensen flushed slightly under the intense scrutiny. "The trick?" he prompted softly.
"What? Oh yeah," Jared jolted himself out of his trance. "So Harry Houdini used to do this. Or his wife Bess did," Jared explained as he leaned over Jensen.
"Get on with the trick Padalecki," Jensen encouraged.
"The Great Padalecki," Jared corrected with a mock pout.
"Excuse me. Please get on with the trick .... Great Padalecki. Master Magician," Jensen smirked up at Jared.
Jared smirked back. "Don't swallow," he instructed mysteriously as he leaned forwards and claimed Jensen's lips in a kiss.
Jensen decided he liked this trick and returned the kiss enthusiastically. Half way through the kiss, he felt something metallic in his mouth. Jared pulled back smiling. "Tada," he announced.
Jensen pulled himself up into a half sitting position. He leaned forwards, opened his mouth and dropped a small metal key into his hand. Jensen looked up at Jared, his mouth dropping open again, this time in surprise. "What? How?" he stuttered.
"I found it on the bedside table," Jared admitted sheepishly. "Under my second pack of cards. I'm really sorry Jensen," he apologised. "I just didn't think to look anywhere but my luggage. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean not to look there," he babbled nervously.
"Sssshhh," Jensen reached over stopping Jared mid-sentence with fingers on his lips. "I'm not sorry," he stated firmly.
"You're not?" Jared asked, confused. "Not even a little bit?"
"Not even a little bit," Jensen nodded as he quickly unlocked the cuffs, releasing them both. Both men rubbed at their reddened wrists, relieved to be free.
"Oh," Jared said, still confused.
"Jared. If it wasn't for your trick going ass-up," Jensen explained. "We'd never have found this," he waved his hand at them both. "And I like it. I want it. Me and you. So I for one am kinda glad you're a crappy magician."
"Oh," was all Jared could think of to say for a moment before beaming happily at Jensen. "Me too. I like it and want it too," he agreed with a chuckle as he grabbed the pack of cards off the bedside table. "How about a card trick?" he cocked his head to one side, offering Jensen the cards.
"Let me," Jensen offered taking the cards from Jared. He fanned them out and then flicked the whole pack of cards up into the air. Jared looked up at the shower of cards. "Pick one," Jensen challenged.
"Jensen," Jared protested as he watched the cards float to the floor, bed and surrounding area. "As a card trick, that totally sucks."
Jensen pulled Jared towards him claiming his lips in a kiss. "To hell with the cards. I've got something much better than magic tricks to show you," he breathed into Jared's ear, his expression full of heat and desire. "And I need a volunteer from the audience," he teased.
"Me. Me. Me," Jared said excitedly as he rolled on top of Jensen claiming his lips in another kiss rubbing his awakening arousal against Jensen, imagining in his head all the things he could do now he had two hands free.
"And you brought a wand," Jensen giggled.
"And I'm gonna do some magic with it," Jared threatened lightly, thrusting his cock forwards again.
"Magic away," Jensen groaned, arching his back off the bed.
"The Great Padalecki....," Jared started to say.
"Jared," Jensen protested. "Just shut up and kiss me."
The End