Chapter Text
Part 1
Tom came running out of the back office and Jared winced, glancing up at him apologetically.
“Sorry.” Jared avoided Tom’s eyes and reached for the broom that was still leaning against the bar from when he’d last used it.
“Shit, Jay, you’re going to run me out of business at this rate.” Tom sighed deeply, a sound Jared had been hearing a lot from him recently.
“You could always get plastic glasses,” Jared joked weakly as he swept the broken glass into the pile with the rest of his failures.
“Oh yeah, classy.” Jared watched Tom’s face pull into a smile and felt the tension in his shoulders relax a little.
“I’ll get it, I promise,” Jared said picking up another glass.
“Oh, no you don’t.” Tom grabbed the glass from Jared’s hand. “I think you’ve done enough damage for one day.”
Jared looked sheepish and let Tom remove the precious glass from his grip without argument. “I will get it, Tom. I need this job.”
“I know, Jay,” Tom said with sincere kindness. “I want you to keep working here; the customers love you but…” Tom broke off and looked sadly to the pile of broken glass heaped in the corner of the bar.
“Can’t I just keep serving the beer and leave the others to do all the fancy stuff?” Jared knew it was a hopeless wish, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
“Listen, I just got off the phone with Mike, and I think I have the answer to our prayers.” Tom scooped the broken glass into a dustpan and dumped it in the bin under the bar as Jared hauled his long limbs onto a stool on the customer side. His shift was long over and the place was deserted, Tom would be closing up soon.
“Really? That’s great, what did Rosenbaum have to say?” Jared knew he was grinning like a maniac, but the relief washing over him at the prospect of a solution prevented any other facial expression.
“I’m sending you back to school,” Tom said proudly, grinning at Jared as he slammed a bottle of beer down in front of him.
Jared’s heart stopped, heat rushed into his face as the colour drained out, and he thought for a second he would pass out. Jared tried to swallow only to find he couldn’t, and the sweat pooling in his palms wouldn’t stop no matter how many times he wiped them on his jeans.
“Jay?” Jared felt sick, the knots in his stomach tightening painfully. “Jared?” Jared finally looked up to see that Tom was now waving a hand in front of his face.
“What?” Jared mumbled; he couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Is there a problem? You zoned out on me, man.” Concern filled Tom’s voice, so Jared forced a tight-lipped smile.
“No, no problem.” He gripped his beer and downed half the bottle in one go. “When… um, I mean where…”
“The guy runs a studio not far from here,” Tom explained, handing Jared a piece of paper. “His name’s Ackles, and you’ll be going Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.” Tom pointed to all the information on the paper Jared held, while Jared just stared at the foreign object in his hand.
“Is that ok?” Tom urged for a reaction from Jared, besides disbelief.
“Oh, it’s just… I can’t afford…” Jared stuttered, searching for an excuse not to go.
“Don’t worry about how much it costs. I’m paying for it out of the business money; I’m training my staff. I wouldn’t expect you to fork out for it yourself. What kinda boss do you take me for?” Tom winked at him and watched as Jared gulped the rest of his beer down thirstily. “You want another one?” Tom started to reach for another bottle, but Jared held up his hands.
“No thanks, Tom. I think I’m gonna head off.” Jared rose slightly unsteadily from his stool.
“Good call man, don’t wanna hangover for your first day in class.”
“Tomorrow?” Jared looked again at the piece of paper and sure enough there it was: 10am Wednesday.
Tom smiled endearingly and patted him on the back. “Go home, Jay, I’ll see you tomorrow for your shift.”
Jared didn’t argue. He grabbed his jacket and left Tom’s Bar. Normally, on his way home he was happy with a spring in his step; he’d built himself a good life here in Seattle, but today he was filled with a dread that he was going to lose it all.
He’d known that Tom had wanted to run a cocktail bar for forever; that was why he had bought the bar in Pioneer Square in the first place. It was situated perfectly, and was a great size. Sure the previous owners had run it into the ground, and it had a bad reputation for trouble, but Tom had done wonders with it. Tom was a formidable presence, almost as tall as Jared; he’d cleaned the place up, got rid of the trouble makers, and now had a respectable, profitable business going.
Now that Tom had saved enough money to make the change to a classy cocktail bar, nothing was going to stand in his way; especially not a bartender who could catch the flu easier than a glass. Jared knew that Tom liked him, and he liked Tom too, he was a great boss and a better friend. Tom had really helped him out when Jared had first come to town as a lost, frightened teenager. He’d been barely eighteen when Tom had taken him in, given him a job bussing tables and helped him get his apartment, and due to his height, as long as he stayed away from the alcohol, no one ever questioned his age.
Now, four years later, Jared had worked his way up to serving the bar, he mostly kept to himself and worked hard; Jared owed Tom a lot and hated to think of letting him down. But Jared didn’t have long to get the hang of spinning bottles and shaking cocktails, and he didn’t know if he was cut out for it. Sure, he could pour a mean pint and got along with all the regulars; his tips proved he was one of the most popular bartenders there, even more popular than Tom, but if he couldn’t cut the change, Tom would be forced to cut him.
He was willing to work hard, but now Tom wanted to send him to school! Just the thought of it made Jared’s muscles seize up so tight it hurt. Tom knew how to do all that stuff, why couldn’t he just teach Jared himself? Why did he have to go to a class to learn it all? In reality Jared knew that Tom was far too busy to teach him enough of what he needed to know, but that didn’t help the fear that crept into his nerves or the memories that bombarded his brain.
Without realising it, Jared changed direction, and in less than ten minutes was thumping so desperately on the peeling red door that he was surprised he didn’t punch through it.
“Alright, alright. I’m coming already,” a frustrated female voice answered from within. Jared practically fell into Sandy’s arms when she pulled open the door, and they sank to the floor. “Jesus, Jay.”
Sandy didn’t say anything more, she just held Jared, shushing him until his shaking subsided. Resting his head against her shoulder, she brushed his long bangs from his eyes and rocked him gently.
When it appeared that Jared was calmer, Sandy helped him to his feet and gently led him to her sofa, where he sank into the cushions and held his head in his hands. Sandy quietly closed the door and went to sit beside Jared. She didn’t say a word; she just waited, and Jared loved her for it. She always knew what to do, what to say, because she understood, she knew.
“He’s sending me back to school,” Jared said shakily after a few minutes, he raised his eyes to meet her deep brown ones.
“Who is?” Sandy asked softly.
“Tom. He’s sick of me smashing all his glasses and is sending me somewhere to learn how to do it properly. There’s going to be a building with a classroom, with students and tables, probably a chalk board, and a teacher,” Jared said in a rush, the panic in his voice rising with the volume.
“Breathe Jay, just breathe.” Sandy rubbed his back soothingly, and Jared followed her lead and took a few deep breaths to stop himself from hyperventilating.
“What am I going to do, Sand?” Jared wiped at his moist eyes, not wanting to cry over this.
“It’s okay; it’ll be alright.” Sandy took Jared in her arms, and he leaned into her touch. “You’re not that boy anymore, Jay. You can do this. It’s going to be what, a room full of a bunch of guys throwing bottles around? And the teacher’s probably some old guy who’s just a Tom Cruise wannabe, doing it to attract chicks.” Sandy smiled when Jared huffed out a laugh.
“You’re right. Thank you.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” Sandy grinned widely.
“My saviour,” Jared laughed.
“And don’t you forget it.”
Jared pulled Sandy into his arms and held her tight, sleep pulling on his eye lids as they settled onto the sofa.
“I kinda love you, you know that?” Jared whispered into her hair.
“I know, Jay, I love you too.”
Jared allowed his eyes to close and sleep to take over.
***
Despite Sandy’s words of comfort, Jared didn’t sleep well that night. His dreams were filled with jostling bodies and laughing faces as he was slammed against lockers and left bloody in the bathroom stall. He’d stagger into his classroom to fall into the comforting arms of an older man, to be shushed with a gentle hand stroking through his hair, soft lips laying kisses over his face as he allowed himself to sink into the safety of the touch, the shake of his body no longer caused by fear.
Then, as always, the dream filled with pain, his heart wracked with shame and his ears filled with screams. He flung his long limbs around wildly as he awoke with a start, falling from Sandy’s sofa as she ran into the room and coaxed him awake before risking getting close enough to wrap her arms around him.
She just let him cry into her chest then, not needing to ask what the dream was about, not forcing him to put it into words again. She knew, and she hated that she couldn’t make it better for him.
“Come with me,” she said so quietly Jared only just heard it over his sobs. But he let himself be led into Sandy’s bedroom and pulled down onto her bed. Sandy pulled her covers over him and spooned her tiny body up behind him.
Jared knew she would stay awake until he was sleeping again, she always did.
“I’m sorry,” he told her, his voice cracked. Sandy held him closer and kissed his neck.
“I’ve got you, it’s okay,” she promised him. “Never be sorry, Jay, never. It’s not your fault.”
Sandy’s hand ran softly up and down his arm, and Jared allowed the constant movement to lull him back to sleep, this time thankfully dreamless.
***
Tom had said it was a studio, but this was no studio. The building was huge; it probably had tons of rooms, just like a real school and the thought made Jared shiver. He’d been pacing outside the entrance for ten minutes and still hadn’t plucked up the courage to actually step inside.
Oh God! I can’t do this! Jared’s chest tightened, and when his head began to spin, he let himself slide down the wall to sit on the cold ground. With shaky hands, Jared held his head and tried to calm his breathing. Get it together Padalecki.
“Fuck!” Jared threw his head back to hit the wall behind him.
“Are you okay?” Jared’s gaze snapped up only to lock with the most startling green eyes he’d ever seen.
“W-what?” he stammered, his gaze dropped to a pair of plump moist lips, and Jared had to swallow the lump in his throat just to keep focus.
“I said are you okay? You don’t look so good,” those lips said, and suddenly Jared remembered why he was there.
“Oh, yeah. Just had a dizzy spell is all. I’m fine now.” The man before him stood up, and Jared only then realised that the guy had been crouching next to him.
“Are you going in?” The man stuck his hand out to Jared, and before he knew it Jared was slipping his long fingers into the warm, strong grasp and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. They stood close for a moment, and Jared found himself short of breath when the man’s lips pulled into a smile. Jared felt immediately warmed by it and smiled back. Then the man’s hand fell from Jared’s, where Jared was sure it had lingered a moment longer than necessary, and Jared quickly stepped backwards feeling himself blush slightly and wondering if he’d been caught staring. He towered over the shorter man and waited for the obligatory comment that he was a giant.
“Oh, yeah, just need a minute,” he said when the expected comment didn’t come.
“Okay, well see ya around.” The man paused for a moment before going through the glass front door, and Jared found himself watching that man go with a pang of regret.
Without the welcome distraction, Jared’s thoughts came back to why he was here and the cold hand of dread grasped his heart again. What was he even doing there anyway? Oh that’s right, he had to learn this stuff or Tom would be forced to fire him, and he’d be out of a job; and with no education, he’d be out on the street before too long after that.
Taking a deep breath, Jared pushed open the doors and forced himself to walk down the corridor. The place was deserted, his footsteps echoed on the ground, and he had flash backs of walking through the halls at high school after staying late, the eerie silence deafening and him trying not to rush when all he wanted to do was run home, curl himself up on his bed, and cry himself to sleep.
You’re not that boy anymore, Jay! Sandy’s voice jumped into his head. She was right, as always; he was a grown man in charge of his own life, and he could do this. Jared swallowed his fears and pulled out the piece of paper Tom had given him to find the room number he was supposed to go to. The room was only four doors down and had been left open. Jared turned into the room to see a small group of men and women, mostly his age, some maybe a little younger, with one or two older guys.
“Hey, if I’d known you were coming in here I would’ve waited for you.” Jared was confronted with those green eyes smiling up at him.
“That’s okay; I needed a moment to myself anyway.” Jared smiled back, relieved to see a friendly face, even if he had only met it minutes before.
“Nervous huh?” the man with green eyes asked not unkindly, and Jared nodded offering a shy smile. “Don’t worry,” the man continued, “everyone here’s real nice.”
Jared looked around the room to see the people were all smiling and laughing, a couple of them throwing bottles in the air to catch them behind their backs; applause from their classmates their reward.
“I’m Jensen by the way,” the green-eyed man said as he stuck his hand out, and Jared shook it without hesitation, his mind remembering the softness of Jensen’s hand and longing to feel it again.
“Jared,” he informed him. Jared couldn’t help the wide smile he felt on his lips; maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
“So, what brings you here? Trying to pick up chicks?” Jensen said with a grin, and Jared chuckled.
“No, my boss needs me to learn this stuff; he’s changing the place into a cocktail bar, and if I wanna keep my job…” Jared left the sentence unfinished, not feeling the need to elaborate.
“Ah, a reluctant participant,” Jensen nodded understandingly.
“Yeah, it’s weird really. I don’t even like cocktails; gimme a beer any day, then maybe a few straight shots once I’m too far gone to care.” The words spilled out so easily, and Jared felt himself relaxing.
“Betcha always regret it the next day too.” They shared a knowing laugh.
“You know it,” Jared grinned.
“Which bar do you work in?” Jensen asked.
“Tom’s, it’s not far from here,” Jared told him, and Jensen nodded.
“That’s a nice place.”
They stood in a comfortable silence for a moment before
Jared looked at his watch. “Do you think we’ll be starting soon?” he questioned.
Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist and looked at the time, wincing. “Guess we should get started, shouldn’t we?”
He smiled at Jared before walking to the front of the room, and Jared felt his smile drop from his face and his heart beat faster.
“Hi, everyone. If you wanna go to your usual tables we’ll get started,” Jensen said. “Jared, you can take that one right in front of you.” Jensen turned his attention to the room and continued talking but Jared didn’t hear a word of it.
Jensen’s the teacher? His brain struggled to grasp this information, but his legs worked of their own accord, and he found himself standing at a table with a thick plastic bottle, plastic glass, and a cocktail shaker. Jared picked up the bottle; it was just like the real thing, same weight and feel to it. Jared tried to pay attention to what was going on. Jensen was at the front of the room doing all sorts of tricks and making it look easy. Everyone else in the room was copying him with relative ease, and Jared felt like such an amateur as his bottle tumbled to the floor, clattering way too loudly.
The class continued pretty much like that, and Jared focused on trying to get it right, but eventually when the glass he was using fell to the floor and rolled away for what felt like the hundredth time, he didn’t go after it.
“Damn it,” he hissed, angry at himself. He was trying, he really was, but he just couldn’t get it right. It was like he had no eye-to-hand coordination at all, and his fingers were covered in oil.
“I think you dropped this,” Jensen said as he handed Jared his glass.
“Sorry.” Jared took the glass and sighed heavily, “I’m never going to get this.”
“Sure you will, you just need to practice. Look…”
Jensen stepped behind Jared and slipped his arm under Jared’s taking the glass back from his hand. Jared’s breath hitched when Jensen’s body pressed against him.
“You’re throwing it too high, just flick your wrist and only make it spin once,” Jensen said, quietly demonstrating by doing just that; the glass turned once in the air, Jensen straightened his fingers, and the glass landed comfortably on them.
“Easy as that, huh?” Jared gulped, trying not to shiver at Jensen’s hot breath on his neck.
“Easy as that,” Jensen murmured. Quickly he flipped the glass into the air again and caught it with a solid grip. Then he pulled away from Jared and handed him the glass again. Jared had to blink and wonder if he’d just imagined what had happened. “Try again.”
Jared cleared his throat and concentrated on the glass. He tossed it in the air, straightened his fingers, and the glass bounced off his index nail and fell to the floor. Jensen retrieved the glass and passed it back to Jared.
“Keep trying,” he smiled before walking to help someone else.
Jared watched and couldn’t help noticing that Jensen didn’t get as close to the others as he had to him, the thought made a warmth spread through his belly, and he found himself smiling slightly.
Jared was so focused on trying to catch the glass that he didn’t notice that the hour-long class had ended and everyone else had started leaving, until Jensen was standing in front of him, just watching. This time Jared didn’t drop the glass; he didn’t exactly catch it properly either; it sort of bounced off his hand, slipped through his other hand when he tried to catch it, and he grabbed it just before it hit the floor.
“Well, at least I caught it,” Jared sighed, smiling weakly at Jensen.
“Don’t worry; hardly anyone gets it straight away,” Jensen said reassuringly.
“Did you?” Jared asked, curious.
“Um, actually I was always kind of a natural.” Jensen blushed and actually managed to sound like he felt guilty about it. “It just seemed like I was made for it, you know?”
“I wish,” Jared said as he tried the glass again, and when it yet again tumbled to the floor, he threw his arms in the air in defeat. “I give up. This is impossible.”
“Hey, don’t give up, you’ll get it, I promise,” Jensen said putting his hand on Jared’s arm to stop him before he started pacing. “I’ve never failed to teach anyone yet.”
“Yeah well, there’s always a first,” Jared grumbled.
“I’ll never be able to do it like you do. I could be the one to ruin your whole reputation.”
“When you’re actually doing it at a bar it’s completely different from in the classroom. You’ve got the music, the actual alcohol; people cheering you on. It’s a completely different atmosphere.” Jensen looked a little dreamy as he pictured it in his head, and Jared figured he really loved his work. “Why don’t you come to the Lithe tonight? I’m going to be working there; you could see the real thing up close and personal.”
“Oh, um. I can’t. I’m working tonight,” Jared lied, suddenly flustered. Was Jensen asking him out or was it just purely educational? Why had Jared felt the need to lie when he’d be finished work in plenty of time? He honestly didn’t know, maybe it was just because he liked Jensen, and he didn’t know how to respond to it.
“Oh, okay. Well, if you get off early?” Jensen shrugged, but his eyes flashed with disappointment.
“I’d better go,” Jared said slightly reluctantly, but he had to get out of there, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. He threw a wave over his shoulder, very conscious of the beautiful green eyes watching him leave.
***
It was a couple of hours later when Sandy walked into Tom’s for lunch that Jared saw her scanning the bar for him. He sneaked up behind her from where he’d been wiping down a table and grabbed her tiny form around the waist. Sandy squealed and struggled to free herself from his long-armed grip, but Jared just hauled her effortlessly off the ground and spun her round a few times.
“Let go of me you big dope,” Sandy said slapping his arm, but she couldn’t help but laugh. Jared set her on the ground carefully, steadying her as she wobbled slightly, dizzy from spinning. “So, how’d it go?” Sandy asked as Jared kissed her on her cheek.
“It went okay,” Jared said, his forehead creased as he thought about the events of the day.
He moved behind the bar and poured Sandy her usual lunchtime diet coke.
“Okay?” Sandy asked, practically bouncing onto her stool.
“Yeah, okay,” Jared confirmed. “Well I didn’t break anything, but that could have something to do with the fact everything was made out of plastic.”
“So you’re getting the hang of it then?” she probed.
“I didn’t catch a thing,” Jared said leaning across the bar, but laughed good humouredly about his failure.
“So the teacher’s not all that good, huh?” Sandy asked carefully.
“Jensen’s great,” Jared blurted a little too quickly, and Sandy got a knowing look.
“Jensen?” she asked quirking her eyebrow up.
“Yeah, he’s the teacher.” Jared knew he was blushing, and he noticed Sandy’s shoulders slump.
“Oh, Jay,” she said softly.
“It’s not like that,” Jared protested. “I mean, he’s nice and all. He’s patient, explains things well, and isn’t at all an old Tom Cruise wannabe.” Jared imagined Jensen’s eyes smiling at him and the feel of him so close; he tried not to look dreamy.
“Is he hot?” Sandy watched him carefully, and Jared felt his face burn under the scrutiny. When he met her eyes, he nodded shyly and couldn’t help a little smile.
“Jay…” she said softly, and Jared’s smile faded: he knew Sandy could see right through him; sometimes he swore she could read his mind.
“I know,” he said seriously. “I was just… I dunno. He’s just really nice, Sand, he’s not that much older than me, and we… well we got along really well.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to see you get hurt, Jay,” Sandy grabbed Jared’s hand and squeezed it affectionately.
“You’re right; I’m being stupid. He probably doesn’t like me in that way, anyway.” Jared felt a coldness wash over him as he forced himself to view reality. “God, I’m such an idiot, why do I do this? What’s the matter with me?”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with you; I didn’t mean it like that at all. All I’m saying is be careful,” Sandy said and gave him a lopsided grin. “You know I’ll back you, whatever you decide. And I’ll be here to watch your back, okay?”
“He asked if I wanted to go watch him work tonight,” Jared blushed.
“Already? Maybe he does like you after all,” Sandy said, sitting up a little straighter and gnawing on her lip thoughtfully, a sly smile sneaking across her face.
“I told him no; said I had to work.” Jared shrugged.
“Told who?” Tom came out from the back and winked at Sandy in greeting.
“No one. Nothing.” Jared busied himself with rearranging the glasses under the bar, but he could feel Tom’s eyes boring into his back. “I just got invited out tonight is all.”
“By the guy that runs the class you sent him to,” Sandy filled in helpfully, and Jared glared at her. Sandy looked down sheepishly, but Jared shouldn’t have been surprised, she and Tom told each other everything. When Sandy had first followed Jared from San Antonio out to Seattle three years ago, a year after she and Jared had said goodbye, she and Tom had dated for a while. It hadn’t worked out because they found they were more like brother and sister than lovers, but since, then they’d formed such a strong bond that they were often mistaken as a couple. They finished each others’ sentences, always new what the other was thinking; and spent so much time together that even Jared wondered if they didn’t hook up now and again.
Jared didn’t know why he bothered hiding anything from Tom in the first place. But he knew there was one thing Sandy would never tell Tom, the one thing he’d trusted only to her, and Jared knew that secret was safer than Fort Knox.
“He invited you to do what?” Tom’s interest was peaked, and Jared groaned inwardly. Tom seemed to have this little obsession with trying to set Jared up with guys, convinced he would be the one to find Jared’s true love. Jared knew Tom was really just trying to get him laid, seeing as Tom had never actually seen him in a relationship since he’d known him.
“To go watch him work,” Sandy continued to fill Tom in, which was thankful because Jared was far too embarrassed right now to form words.
“And you said no? Are you mad?” Tom gawked at him.
“Why would I want to go?” Jared asked.
“You get the chance to get extra lessons for free, in a bar no less, see the experts at work, and you turn it down?” Tom rolled his eyes. “Well, you’re going, my friend, even if I have to drag you there myself.”
“Tom…” Jared began.
“No arguments; you need to learn this stuff, Jay; I need you to learn it. So please, for me, go learn, okay?” Tom tried to put on the puppy eyes, but there was a sternness behind them that was unmistakable; Jared was going, no questions asked.
“Okay, fine. I’ll go. But only for a little while,” Jared gave in with a sigh. Tom nodded happily and went to serve someone else. Jared looked at Sandy, who was raising her eyebrows at him. “I don’t know what you’re looking at, you’re coming with me!”
“As long as you’re paying and there are going to be cocktails, I’m there.” Sandy bounced slightly, and Jared couldn’t help but grin at her. He knew she was only going to check Jensen out, size him up, but Jared was so grateful for the support that he wasn’t about to question her motives.