Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

Jensen leaned against the porch rail, a cool beer in his hands as his eyes glazed over, lost somewhere in his mind.

He sneered a little, he wasn’t even fooling himself. Even Mackenzie knew, that’s why she’d come over- even brought dinner.

“Uncle gram’pa! Uncle Gram’pa!” Jensen set his beer down and scooped up Erica. “Hey, midget,” he teased, resting his three year old niece on his hip, and tickled her a little.

Erica giggled and hid her face in his shoulder as he carried her inside. Jensen chuckled a little and set his three year old niece on the counter next to the sink where Jared was doing the dishes. Mackenzie smiled at them, drying a plate that Jared handed to her and then continued, "So, back to school tomorrow, eh?"

"Yeah," Jared said, "I'm pretty excited. They're finally dropping one of my periods so maybe I won't lose my mind this year." Jensen snorted, and Jared looked at him. "What? What is so funny about that?"

Jensen kissed Jared's cheek, "Nothing, it's just... Well, I like it when you lose your mind about the school stuff."

"What?" Jared said, dropping the sponge and dish, turning to look at him.

"It shows you care," Jensen said, and winked at Erica when Jared flushed, turning back to the dishes. Erica giggled and Mackenzie smiled, too. "Anyway, 'kenzie? I was wondering if I could steal Jared for a sec?"

"Actually, I should get going; I should get to the soccer game, I feel kinda bad for missing it."

"Tristan was playing today?" Jensen said, "Why didn't you tell us? We would have gone to see it."

"I know," Mackenzie wiped her hands on the towel. "But I just... Erica?" She scooped her daughter off the counter and set her on the floor, "Go watch TV for a sec?" Erica nodded and then hurried out of the room.

"Mackenzie? What's going on?" Jensen asked.

"Look... We all know what tomorrow is." Jared looked confused as he looked to Jensen for the answer.

"We met sixteen years ago tomorrow," Jensen murmured, feeling a little sad that Jared didn't remember.

"Oh," Jared said, and then that kinda sank in. "Oooh..." He sighed a little and slid his hands down Jensen's arms, tugging his hands out of his pockets and linking them together. "You remembered?"

Jensen shrugged, and then picked up a teasing tone, "Don't worry about it, you can't have forgotten until tomorrow."

Jared still had a little bit of kicked puppy look in his eyes, so Jensen smiled and tilted his head back, puckering his lips like a blowfish. Jared chuckled and kissed him lightly. "See? You still love me enough to kiss me when I do that. And that is what matters."

Jared released Jensen's hands and gripped his hips instead as he kissed him again, a little more deeply this time. Jensen chuckled a little as Mackenzie cleared her throat after a moment, and Jared's face got bright red, flushing from his neck up.

"Anyway," Mackenzie said as Jared tipped his head down, attempting to hide his face on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen patted his back and then they both turned to look at Mackenzie. "I figured Jen would have something planned so I couldn't come by... And, I mean..." She shrugged, "You guys meeting changed my life as much as it changed yours... I just wanted to come by and, well, I don't know..." Jensen pursed his lips and raised a brow, "'Kenzie? Don't be a freak." She laughed and threw herself into his arms as soon as he raised them.

They hugged for a moment and then Mackenzie gave Jared a hug as well, "Ok," she murmured. "Well, I am done with this big ol' sappy moment. I should grab Erica and head to Tristan's soccer match."

"Alright," Jensen said, "Eric's gonna call about dinner on Saturday, right?"

"What happened to Friday? We always have dinner on Friday," Mackenzie said.

"Hence the need for Eric to call. I have plans Friday night, sorry, 'Kenzie."

"No, that's okay," she said, grabbing the blue bag filled with her Tupperware. "It'll be nice. Eric and I have been looking for an excuse to take Tristan and Erica to C-H-U-C-K E. C-H-E-E-S-E-S." Jensen laughed a little, knowing that the spelling was necessary. Erica had learned early on what 'Chuck E. Cheese's' was from her older brother, and after her first visit, got very excited when ever the name was mentioned. "So, I'll have Eric call you... Tuesday good?"

"That's fine." Jensen nodded and gave her a hug, Jared doing the same.

"Erica? We're leaving sweetie, come say good-bye."

Erica came running back in before Mackenzie could even finish the good-bye request. She launched herself at Jensen's legs, holding his knees together, "G’bye uncle gram'pa!"

Jensen smiled and patted her head. She released him and threw herself at Jared's legs, squeezing his shins together. "G'bye uncle gram'pa!" she exclaimed again and then backed up and held Mackenzie's hand.

"And I guess we're leaving now," Mackenzie joked. "See you on Friday."

Jensen sighed and leaned back against Jared.

"So, you ready to tell me why you've been in a funk as of late?" Jensen groaned a little and opened his eyes as he straightened up.

“I don’t know, Jay… I guess I’m just tired.” Jensen turned and walked towards the sink, turning the water back on and starting to wash the dishes. He heard Jared sigh. A moment later, he flipped the water off. “No, that’s not true.” Jared hummed in agreement. “I just miss working at the gym, wish it hadn’t been bought- hadn’t been closed.

“I mean, we were so close to having enough saved up,” Jensen paused, “And now I have to go back to working nights at the garage. I hate working nights at the garage. I never get to see you…” Jensen sighed.

“Fuck,” he murmured, wiping at eyes that were itchy with unshed tears. He wasn’t only morning the loss of time that he was going to spend with Jared, or the money that they’d lose, the things that they would have to cut back on… And the loss of a child that they couldn’t have, hadn’t had.

Jared loved helping out with the rearing of Mackenzie. Most of the work had been done, but the two had bonded. Since the two weren’t actually related, but acted as if they were, Jared and Mackenzie could talk about things that she didn’t feel comfortable talking to Jensen about.

Like sex- God, that had been horrible to hear about. Jared had actually bought Mackenzie condoms, he’d also body blocked the door when Jensen flew into a bout of protectiveness for his baby sister and wanted to beat Eric into a pulp.

And Jensen loved watching Mackenzie grow up, loved being the person -even though Jared had been there as well, he’d asked them both- that Eric asked for Mackenzie’s hand in marriage, loved being the one to walk her down the aisle, loved that he and Jared were Tristan and Erica’s god parents.

He wanted to do that again, but this time he wanted it to be his and Jared’s kid. He wanted to share that with his husband, because -legally binding or not- that’s what Jared was, his husband, his family.

Raising Mackenzie and living with Jared for as long as he had, going to dinner every Sunday at the Padalecki house… Family was more important to him than ever, and Jared felt the same way -if not to the same level.

They both wanted kids and the more years that passed, the less likely it seemed that that dream was ever going to happen. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Jensen sighed and let a tear fall, Jared wrapping his arms around Jensen as he finally let himself fall apart a little.

“I just feel so bad about it,” Jared said, snapping the lid of his to-go cup of coffee.

“Mmm,” Ryan hummed, paying for both drinks. Ryan was one of the math teachers at Richardson High School, he came to work a few years after Jared had and the two had become fast friends.

“I mean, I’ve been looking foreword to having kids, too, but with the gym closing and everything, it’s just…” he took a swig of the horrible sludge that pretended to be coffee. “It’s not possible right now.”

“You’re only thirty, Jared. There’s still time.”

“Not the point,” Jared said, pausing as he got to the door. “Jen likes working on cars, taking something that’s broken, seeing how it works, and then watching it come back to life… But he hates the hours, we never see each other during the week. And on the weekends, when we do see each other, he’s crabby because his internal clock is thrown off and I have to grade things...

“This is…”

“Sucks,” Ryan agreed.

“This is totally sucks,” Jared reiterated, unlocking his classroom and then leaning against the open door.

“Hey, didn’t he go to school? Isn’t he, like, a trained physical therapist?” Ryan asked, looking as if a light bulb had just gone off over his head.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, there’s gonna be an opening in the Phys. Ed. Department.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I guess Jamie’s father isn’t doing too well- as soon as they find a replacement, they’re going to let her out of her contract so she can move out there to help her mom out.”

“You don’t think-?”

“I’m sure that they’d love to have him,” Ryan answered. “Especially because I’m sure he’ll have at least one stellar recommendation from the staff, and a bunch from the gym. Worth a shot, right?”

“Yeah,” Jared said thoughtfully, “Worth a shot…”

After the long day of introductions and other random start of school garbage, Jared hurried to the principal’s office and pitched them Ryan’s idea. After a few questions, they agreed to set up an interview for the position, all Jensen had to do was call.

Jensen was attempting to doze when Jared got home, an arm thrown over his eyes as he was laid supine across the bed, curtains drawn.

“Hey,” Jared said, plopping onto the bed next to Jensen.

“Mmm,” Jensen grunted, half way to dream land.

“I need you to wake up for a second.”

Jensen groaned and removed his arm from his eyes and then sat up, eyes still closed. “I’m awake.”

“You are not, Jen.”

“I’m as awake as I’m gonna get, Jay,” Jensen matched Jared’s whine.

“Okay, but I may have a solution to the working at night problem.”

Jensen’s eyes snapped opened, “Do tell.”

“You remember Jamie, right?”

“The PE teacher, right?”

“Right,” Jared concurred. “Well, her dad isn’t doing too well, so they’re going to let her out of her contract- Just as soon as they find a replacement.

“So,” Jared made some weird hand gesture with his hands, looked at them strangely and then dropped them onto his lap. “I though that maybe you could go in. All you have to do is call, they’d love to set up an interview.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jared said, the hint of a beam fading from his face, “Why aren’t you excited about this?”

Jensen shrugged, “I have no reason to get my hopes up.”

“What?” Jared fell into himself a little.

“Well, I don’t,” Jensen said, reaching for the phone all the same.

“You went to school, could be a physical therapist if there was one needed here, and coached for years… The school would be lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen shrugged, the phone dangling from his hand. “But in all honesty, I’m still surprised that they hired one gay guy- I can’t really imagine them hiring said gay man’s husband.”

“Oh,” Jared said, looking down. He was so used to Jensen’s reputation from high school and then once all that Alan had done eventually -somehow- came to light protecting him from the homophobes that it almost wasn’t a thought in his mind. “Well… They love me, and I gave you a rave, so…”

Jensen looked at him, studied him for a long moment- So long that Jared could feel the burning of his blush as it crept up his neck and settled on his face.

“You really want me to do this? Call them?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah,” Jared said, “I mean… I want it for you if you want it. I mean, the hours would be great, the pay is decent… And we’d always see each other… Unless you’re afraid you’d get tired of me?”

“Don’t be stupid, I could never get tired of you,” Jensen said. “I just… Don’t want to get my hopes up. I mean, if this works out? We’ll be able to start really talking and planning for kids…”

“Yeah,” Jared said, trying to ignore the lump that was forming in his throat.

“You still want kids, right?” Jensen said, a hint of panic in his voice.

“Yeah,” Jared said, laying his hand on Jensen’s. “I still want to build a family with you…”

“Oh, well, speaking of? Your gift isn’t quite done yet, but if should be by this weekend.”

“Ah, home made gift?” Jensen flushed and gave a half nod. “Okay, I’ll give you your gift when you give me mine.”

“You got me a gift?” Jensen asked, surprised. “I didn’t know that you got anything today.”

“Of course I got you something,” Jared lied, making a huge bold triple underlined mental note to get Jensen a gift as soon as possible.

“Okay,” Jensen said, rewarding Jared with a kiss. “I’ll call.”

“You’ll call? Really?”

“Yeah,” Jensen said, dialing.

Jared sat on the edge of the bed, biting his lip and nails as Jensen talked. He was so far in his head that he wasn’t even really listening to what Jen was saying.

“So?” He said, snapping out of his head when Jensen hung up.

“I’m going in tomorrow for the interview.” Jared squealed and launched himself into Jen’s arms.