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Living is hard, loving is harder, but letting go is impossible.

Summary:

Summary: It’s hard to raise a child and go to college at the same time, but Jensen manages with help of his mom and awesome friends. When his daughter Sam finds a new friend, it turns Jensen’s life upside down also. Jared is easygoing guy from rich family, who hides a secret or two. When energetic little girl bounces in his life, Jared starts to see how empty his life was before

Notes:

Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at Sinful-Desire.org. To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on Sinful Desire collection profile.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text


Author's notes: jensen has to work hard and jared goes partying with his friends


“Shit. God damn it!” Aarg… I hate this fucking day! Jensen was walking along the hallway to the schools main doors. Other students were rushing from point A to point B like mad bees or just standing on his way and his nerves were almost run out.

Jensen pushed the doors open, bright light hurting his eyes. The day was doomed almost from the beginning and last couple of hours has been like a pure hell. Every one in and out of Jensen's classes was being airheads again and even his class partner had lost his brains somewhere between school and home. ”God”, Jensen muttered under his breath. Some guys were sitting on stairs; he knew them by their names. Fucking Rosenbaum from his class and his crazy ass friends. They were talking loud and making jokes about others. Jensen looked them and shook his head with annoyed sigh as he put his sunglasses on and made his way to his bike. It was so good to get the hell out of here, to spend the weekend with his friends, working his ass off. * * Classes were over and Jared was sitting on stairs just outside the main doors with couple of his friends when this hot guy passed by them. Mike saw him too; saw the guy looking them with annoyance in his face before sunglasses covered those green, green eyes and the guy turned to walk away. ”What the fuck is that guy's problem?” Tom rolled his eyes with sigh. ”Dunno, maybe he's bitchy?” Jared smirked. ”Yeah, he's in my English class, he’s some kinda badass geek o' something. Eli’s friend, you know”, said Mike before he stood up beside Tom. Jared was still staring after him. He's smoking hot, definitely some freaky shit. He thought.

Jared got up on his feet and glared at Tom and Mike. Mike wiggled his brows. “So, what are you doing tonight? Some ass shaking maybe?” ”Dunno man, 'm going…” Jared didn't even get to finish. “ You doing nothing! You are so coming with us, dude!” Mike smirked and slapped Jared's back. Jared just rolled his eyes and walked the stairs down with Mike and Tom. * * Their home was two-stored old house in Bakersfield suburb. It was friendly neighbourhood. Lot of old people living in there. It was almost four when Jensen finally parked his bike on the driveway. Jensen opened door to a quiet and empty house. His mom and Sam were visiting his sister Mackenzie.

The house was homey. Old but comfortable furniture, Brown colours and pictures covered almost every surface. Jensen threw his keys on table and walked in to the kitchen to make some badly needed coffee. There were some bills and what not, on counter. Nothing... nothing... these are waste of paper…Jensen threw them away and went to cupboard to fetch a mug. Couple of hours free time, what the fuck ‘m gonna do? Jensen scratched his neck and poured coffee in mug. He sipped his coffee while thinking and looked out of the window. Ms. Drake was watering her lawn. Other side of the street, some children were fooling around. It made him sigh and he stood up to put the mug in sink. He stretched his stiff limbs before heading to shower, he stripped while climbed up on stairs and left his clothes wherever they landed.

* *

“So, where we heading?” Jared tapped his fingers on wheel while waiting the lights to change. Chad was in his own world again, listening his iPod and probably thinking something sick and perverted. But hey that’s just our little Chad.

“We could go to Wood’s”, Mike suggested.

Llight changed to green and Jared steered the car trough to crossing.

“Fine by me. Tom?”

“Sounds great”, Tom smiled from backseat. * *

Half an hour later Jensen came out of bathroom. Damn it’s good to be home alone. Doesn’t matter if I walk around without anything on. His phone rang when he was trying to decide what to wear. Only in his boxers Jensen picked up the phone and answered it.

“Yeah?”

Jenny!!”

“Piss off Chris. How many time do I have to tell you not to call me that you son of…”

“Hey that’s my ma you talking about and come on you like it, admit it.” Jensen could hear smirk in Chris’s voice.

“If its make you sleep better. So did you want something or just trying to piss me off?”

Har har…” Chris might be his best friend, but sometimes he wondered why he but up with him. “Yeah, but seriously I just wanted to ask if you need a ride?”

“Thanks but I got it covered. Eli’s is taking me.”

Okay. How is he? You going to visit Maddy?”

“Eli’s good. Garage keeps him busy. Yeah, we are going today.”

“ She is doing good too ?

“She is trying, but it’s hard you know, it’s been hard over a three year. And it’s not gonna change.”

Yeah I know.”

“She’s on differed meds now tough. It will take time before they can say if the meds works.”

How… What, um…what about her attacks?”

“Yeah, she still has them, nothing major, but it’s just so unfair that she is in that condition.”

I know, but there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to bee there for her. We all have to be…”

“It’s just hard for everybody. Especially for Eli and Sam. Sam, she is so young and she just tries to understand why she can’t be with her mother, and Eli, it’s killing him to see her in that state.”

I’m sure Maddy knows how lucky she is to have you, guys, in her life. Have your support. You just have to stop beating yourself about this. Okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. But I really need to get going; Eli said he would pick me up around six or so. See you at work, ‘k?”

“Sure, see you then. Say hi to Maddy, will ya?”

“Will do. Bye!” Sighing, Jensen sat down on his bed. He ran his fingers trough his hair and hung his head between his shoulders. I hope she’s having good day.

* *

Jared was trying to eat, he really were, but Chad was going on and on about some chick he had sex with and now Jared had this image in his head, where Chad is frigging naked and… It wasn’t pretty.

“Dude, ‘m trying to eat man! That’s just gross.”

Rolling his eyes Chad pointed to his friend.

“You are so gay my friend. Gay as they come.”

“I’m not. I don’t do lapels and you know it.” Jared huffed.

“Yeah, you know Jared. My man just likes everything.” Tom smiled to Jared and Jared couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thanks Tom.” Tom’s smile just grew bigger.

“So he is totally bi.” Chad said, laughing. Jared threw his fries on Chad’s head.

“And you are bitch.”

* *

Eli drummed his finders on the steering wheel while trying to figure out what was going in Jensen’s pretty head. He knew that Jensen was probably thinking about Madeleine. Hell he was thinking her too. It was hard not to. Every time he visited her, Eli remembered that time when they all were happy and young. They were the inseparable.

“You are thinking too loud.” Eli smiled to Jensen.

“Uh… Um, what?“ Jensen looked him with question in his eyes.

“I just said that you think too loud.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Too much going in my head.”

“’k. So, when you folks come home?” Eli looked Jensen, knowing Jensen didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet.

“Sunday.”

Eli parked his car in front of the Deline, bar where Jensen worked.

“Do you need ride home? I need to do couple things but ‘m free after midnight.”

“My shift ends two a.m. so see you then? thanks man”

“Ok!” Eli looked while Jensen opened the door and got out oh the car. Small smile on his lips Jensen waved goodbye. Eli raised his hand before he got the engine running and peeled out of the parking lot. Jensen watched the car to disappear before he headed inside.

* *

Upon entering, Jensen saw Chris behind the counter preparing to busy night and he went to greet his friend.

“Hey bitch.” Jensen said and leaned against the counter.

Chris smiled. “You are the bitch.”

“Ass.” Jensen muttered back, but he was smiling.

“Well you came early.” It was Jeff, the owner of the Deline, who spoke behind Jensen. Little startled Jensen turned to speak to him.

“Yeah, my shift starts at nine and it’s almost…” Jensen smirked to Jeff.

“Oh, it’s so late. ‘I’m so out the mill today, but hey time to work then.” He clapped his hand together and winked to boys.

Twenty minutes later Jensen was leaning against door when Jeff came to tell him that he could open the door and let the crowd in. Jensen looked out the door and noticed that the line was long. Damn it’s going to be busy and long night. He let the first customers in. They were two girls and Jensen thought that they looked maybe little too young. Both of them showed their id’s and Jensen looked at the pictures. He flashed big smile to them.

“Oh do you think ‘m blind or something.”

Both girls blushed really prettily and muttered something. Jensen laughed.

“Go home or wherever, but I can’t let you two in. Sorry. Maybe after you are legal” Girls walked away and Jensen looked around. His eyes landed on Mike’s friends. Oh fuck. Do I really need to see them more than at school? Damn, this is just my luck.

* *

“You are an ass, you know that do you?” Jared looked at Chad. Chad rolled his eyes and smiled.

“It’s Friday and we are going to get some ass.” He winked to Jared.

Jared whacked him upside down to head.

“I don’t need that, I don’t do that. I’m so not like that.”

“I know man, let’s just have fun. ‘K.?”

“Okay.” Jared breathed. He knew what people talked about him, he didn’t really mind what everyone was talking about him, saying that he fucked everyone ‘cos he knew it wasn’t true, but sometimes he just wished that… And then Jared saw him. It was the bouncer, the guy from school.

“Mike, isn’t that the guy we saw earlier? At school?”

Mike looked at the bouncer.

“Yeah, that’s him, Jensen.”

Oh… he is hot. Jared thought by himself. He saw that Jensen guy looking at them before some guy came talk to him. The other guy said something to Jensen, which made Jensen smile. That smile was hottest smile Jared had ever seen. I don’t even know the guy and I already think about his smile. Well, shit.

* *

“Jensen!” Jensen smiled to Steve’s energetic greeting.

“Tonight is going to be wild, lots of students.” Steve glanced the line where everybody was waiting.

“Oh, look there is your boy.” Steve smirked when he saw Jared’s big ass in the waiting line.

“Shut up, he ain’t my boy. I know what he is, just another stupid frat boy and I said only ones that he is hot.” Jensen glared at Steve, but Steve just rolled his eyes and clapped on Jensen’s back.

“If you say so.”

Jensen was still laughing when Steve disappeared inside.

* *

The bar was full, Chris was working at the bar with Jeff and Steve played music. Jensen was checking around. He saw that Jared guy and Mike with their friends on the dance floor and he hoped that they would behave. He didn’t want any fights tonight. Jared was dancing with some hot guy, but that didn’t mean that Jared was gay. Okay. He definitely was something; maybe Bi and he had one hot ass. Jensen remembered the time when he did something fun, not that he didn’t do anything fun these days, and it was just different kinda fun now. He was 24 years old and he was student in college. He had to work his ass of to bay bills and take care of his family. Yeah, what a wonderful life. Jensen sighed. Thank god it was his brake time. Jensen waved Jeff to the door and he himself went to get beer from Chris.

* *

Jared looked at Jensen who was behind the counter with the bartender. They were probably friends, Jensen laughed and smiled a lot with the guy. Jared knew that Jensen was little bit older than him, and studied English. He had heard rumors about Jensen’s connections and some thought that Jensen was bad news, but Jared didn’t care. Hell he had couple of secrets in him too and he was totally trashed and really horny. This is my time to go home he thought.

“I think I’m heading home now.” He slurred and stumbled when he try to stood up. His friends rolled their eyes, but nevertheless Mike stood to steady him.

“Yeah, you look you need some help man.”

Jared smiled at him. “I think I need a ride too. Could you call someone?”

Mike opened his phone and dialed. Jared didn’t hear whom he called; he was too occupied with Jensen. He was talking with some hot new guy.

“Jay man, Sandy is coming to pick you up, okay?” Mike’s voice snapped him out of his musings.

“Yeah. I go outside and wait her, see you all later.” He waived his hand and made his way to the door.

It was Jensen who opened the door for him. Jensen was smiling and Jared smiled back.

“Good night.” Jensen said with husky voice. Jared just nodded speechless and hornier than ever.

* *

Steve was cleaning up tables and Jeff was sweeping the bar’s floor. He swept the empty bar with his eyes before turning to Chris. Chris watched him, smile on his face and handed Jensen a beer.

“Some tequila tomorrow?”

Jensen nodded.

“Sounds good, mine’ or your’?”

“Steve’s girlfriend is coming tomorrow so it’s your’ then.” Chris winked at him.

“Okay. ‘I’m gonna call Eli, so see you tomorrow.” He handed the empty bottle to Chris and waved good byes to Steve and Jeff. Jensen took his phone out of pocket, dialed Eli’s number and hit the button.

After three calls Eli picked up.

“Jen?”

“Yeah it’ me, I‘m off now.”

“Right, give me um, ten minutes and ‘m there.” Came the sleepy reply.

“No props, I wait outside.”

“See ya.”

Eli hung up and Jensen headed out to wait.

* *

Shit. My head is exploding. He had major hangover and he had to pee so badly, but before he could even open his eyes, his room door slammed open there was one mike too much in his bed. Pouncing like crazy five year old that he was.

“Morning sunshine!” Mike squalled and giggled and Jared shoved him off the bed.

“Looks like our princess is little grumpy this fine morning.” He grinned wild, sitting on floor.

“Fuck off.” Jared shouts and hides under the covers. Mike pulled his blanket off, shoving what a gruel friend he was.

“It’ one already you sleepy head. Get your ass up now; we are going to get some breakfast. So come on.” He threw pillow on Jared’ head. Jared grunted and threw it back at him.

“Fine. I need to get some clothes on, so some privacy please.” He waved his hands round. Mike winked before he ran out and left the door wide open.

“Argh… I hate my life” Jared yelled and sticked his head under the pillow.

* *

It was two when Jensen finally woke up. It was his day off and he had shit load of things to do before Chris got there. And first thing first was to get some coffee. Shower wasn’t needed ‘cos he had showered before getting bed. He hated the smell of smoke that stuck on him after work. Jensen put on old sweat pants and plain t-shirt before heading kitchen to put some life nectar coming.

While waiting the coffee maker finish, Jensen started to prepare breakfast.

With his coffee and breakfast ready, Jensen sat down to eat. There were comic books on the table. They were Sam’s. Jensen smiled because he could imagine if Sam found out that he was reading one of her spider man comics, she would be one really pissed off little girl. Nobody was allowed to touch her comics. Yeah Sam was little different than other girls. She loved football, cartoons and comics, but most she loved cars. She could spend hours and hours with Eli when he fixed them. Sam maybe knew more about cars than Jensen did. It was so cute and funny to see when five years old girl talked car like a pro.

Damn I miss her.