Archive of Our Own ^beta

Title: Shake Your Money Maker [Like Somebody ‘Bout To Pay Ya]
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Jensen, with Mike and Tom
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, as they are real people, and I’m pretty sure they don’t do this in real life. Also, I’m not Ludacris and/or Pharrell
Rating: Hard R/NC-17
Summary: You’re looking good in those jeans, bet you’d look even better with me in between
Warnings: Gayness
Author's Note: Basically written for oc_pixie, who after I put up this post, demanded the porn.



Jared likes to think he was some rhythm. Probably a lot less than Tom, because Tom told him once he took dance lessons before he got married, and yes, Jared always tried to avoid dancing with Sandy, because really… the girl’s a dancer. But he definitely has more rhythm than Mike, who’s currently gripping onto a speaker, thrusting his hips as he bopped his head.

Jensen though, Jensen doesn’t dance. Jared can honestly say he’s never really seen Jensen dance. Even though every weekend they go out to some club, or some bar, Jensen just stays in his seat, laughing at Mike, talking to Tom, hand on his drink. “Jesus, if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was having a seizure,” Jensen laughs, stirring his drink a bit.

“Maybe he is,” Tom suggested, tilting his head to the side as Mike began to do the Running Man. “Man, that was never cool.”

Jensen snorts and turns to Jared, nudging him a bit. “Come on Jay, don’t be such a nice guy; make a joke.”

Jared just shrugs and looks away, studying everybody else in the crowd. He brings his hand up to his chin, picking at his bottom lip absent-mindedly.

“Okay,” Tom says, watching Jared for a second before turning back to the dance floor, laughing loudly as Mike starts the sprinkler. “Jesus,” Tom laughs, shaking his head. “God.” He sits up a bit, waving at Mike. “Feed the chickens, Mike!”

Mike gets this real serious look on his face as he starts, shuffling across the dance floor, paying no attention to anyone he may be pushing out of the way, until he gets to the middle of the floor, at which point, he starts to do the robot.

Jensen cracks up again, taking another drink. “Classic. God, Jared, say something! Anything!” He hits Jared on shoulder, jumping back a bit when Jared glares at him.

“I just don’t think we should be making fun of him,” Jared says quietly, reaching out for his beer.

“Yeah, it’s not nice to pick on retards!” Tom laughs, raising his hand for a high-five, but both Jensen and Jared glare at him. “Okay, fine,” Tom mutters.

Mike’s shimmying over to their table, nodding at every girl he passes. “So which one of you losers is going to join me out there?”

Jensen and Tom glance at each other, looks of disbelief on both their faces, before they both start laughing. “No, no, that’s okay, Mike,” Tom says, trying not to spill his drink.

“Jen?” Mike asks as he starts to do the worm with his arms. “You think you can handle this?”

“God, no,” Jensen sputters, trying not to spit out his drink.

Mike raises an eyebrow and finally he’s in front of Jared, moon walking back and forth. “Jay? Can I interest you in a little boogie on the dance floor?”

Jensen and Tom both look at Jared expectantly and Jared just looks back.

“Yeah, sure,” Jared says, standing up.

“What?” Tom screeches and Jensen’s jaw just drops.

“Jay, you can’t dance!” Jensen protests, reaching out to grab Jared’s arm.

“Why not?” Jared asks, walking away, letting Mike lead him out to the middle of the dance floor.

“Oh Jesus,” Jensen mutters, dropping his head forward.

Tom just stares before he cracks up again, shaking his head. “Jay is never going to live this down. At least it’s an easy song.”

Jared wouldn’t exactly call SexyBack easy and it takes him a couple verses to get his hips moving the right way, to get his long arms and gangly legs to move somewhat together and then to get his head into it, but when all’s said and done, he figures he has to look better than Mike, who’s a couple feet away from him, busting out the Lawn Mower.

“Get your sexy on, get your sexy on, get your sexy, get your sexy on,” Mike’s singing before he starts to grind up against Jared, who doesn’t actually move away from him. “You ready to put on a show Jared?”

“For who?” Jared asks, but it’s too late before the song changes and Pharrell starts singing about shaking his money maker.

“Jen,” Mike says, pointing to where Jensen is staring at Jared like he’s the only person on the floor. “Now come on, shake it!”

It’s a new beat, new rhythm and Jared’s hips stutter a bit before he finally gets it down and he’s shaking his money maker along with every girl on the dance floor. Only Mike, it seems, has decided to be off the beat. Jared can feel his jeans slipping down a bit and he curses his fashion choices as his t-shirt starts to ride up, baring a strip of skin.

“Work with it,” Mike tells him, and he even yanks Jared’s jeans down a bit more, showing off the waistband of his boxers.

“Christ,” Jared mutters and he wants to stop and fix his clothes but he’s not sure he’d be able to get back on the rhythm. He never really knew what to do with his hands and arms, so he keeps them up by his chest, just trying to copy one of the girls a few feet away from him. He closes his eyes and just lets the words and beat flow over him, and he just pretends like he’s alone in his bedroom or something and his hips start to move on their own, wiggling his ass.

“Keep my mind on my money, money on my mind,” Ludacris raps and Jared realizes he knows most of the words, so he shakes it a little something extra when Ludacris raps, “but yous a hell of a distraction when you shake your behind.”

Mike’s jumping up and down, completely off the beat, singing a completely different song, but nobody seems to notice, or care, which is when Jared finally gets it: nobody’s paying any attention to him, especially with Mike singing about being a promiscuous girl right beside him.

Jared start to work his hips a little more and turns around, so he could see Jensen, if his eyes were open. He raises his arms, lifting his shirt just a bit more, showing more abs. His tongue comes out to wet his lips and he opens his eyes for just a second, to make sure Jensen’s got his eyes on him. He is, of course, so of course Jared doesn’t drop his hands back down and start to rub his chest a little, over his nipples to skim over his abs, before he grasps onto the hem of his shirt, lifting it up. He isn’t doing those things, except that he is, and he can’t really believe what’s gotten into him.

“I think he likes you,” Tom says, his eyes actually on Mike but he can still see Jared. “He sure as hell ain’t putting that show on for me.”

Jensen sets down his drink and he can feel his hips start to move in his seat, butterflies in his stomach. “You think?”

Tom looks at Jensen in disbelief, rolling his eyes. “Well, if he’s not doing it for me, who the hell do you think he’s doing it for? Mike?” He gives Jensen a bit of a shove out of his seat.

Jensen stumbles and turns back to glare at Tom before he tries to act as cool as he can, practically strutting over to Jared.

Mike turns and grins, clapping loudly. “Thank God, you two! I thought the sexual tension was going to smother us all.” He jumps away from Jared and Jensen, going back over to Tom, who’s doing his best to try and not watch Jared and Jensen. “Oh come Tom, look at them, it’s beautiful.” He wraps his arm around Tom’s shoulder, pulling him in.

“Um, no, that’s okay, thanks,” Tom stutters, trying to shake Mike off him.

“Um, hi,” Jensen says quietly and Jared can barely hear him over the sound of the music.

Jared takes only a second to react before fisting his hand in Jensen’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss, his hips still working. “Fuck, come on, dance with me.”

Jensen’s a little stunned and he thinks somewhere, he hears the song change to something much easier he can handle. He’s got one leg between Jared’s, or maybe Jared’s got one leg between his, and they’re both grinding their hips together, one of his hands gripping Jared’s ass, the other around his neck, keeping him close.

“Everybody look at me, me, I walk in the door you start screaming,” Nelly’s singing and Jared can’t help singing along in Jensen’s ear. “Come on, everybody what you for?”

“Move your body around like a nympho,” Jensen finishes, before nipping at Jared’s neck, licking a line up to his jaw.

Mike jumped up and started singing along. “All you crazy people, come on jump around! I want to see you all on your knees. You either want to be with me, or be me.”

“Mike, Christ, sit down!” Tom yells, swatting at Mike. “Stop it!”

Mike shakes his head. “Once I get the rhythm in me, I just can’t stop feeling it! Mm!”

“Make you want all, of her love. She’s a maneater, make you buy cars, make you cut cords, make you fall, fall in love,” Nelly continues on, while Jensen and Jared finally kiss again, one of Jared’s hands digging into Jensen’s head, Jensen’s hand squeezing Jared’s ass along to the music.

“Fuck, you’re so hot out here,” Jensen breathes, working his hips, feeling Jared hard against him. “God, just-- just wanna fuck you, so hard. God, Jay, you tease.”

Jared grins and licks his lips, reaching between them to squeeze Jensen through his jeans, feeling how hard he was. “I’m not going to come on the dance floor.”

Jensen looks up at Jared and grins right back, glancing around. “Don’t worry about that.” He turns and begins to walk away, reaching back to grab onto Jared’s hand. He keeps on moving his hips as he leads Jared to the bathroom, glancing back to wink at Mike and Tom. He pushes open the door to the bathroom and smiles at the guy who’s washing his hands in the sink. “Don’t mind us,” Jensen smiles and pulls Jared away from the door, going to the last stall.

The guy groans and quickly dries off his hands, walking out of the bathroom.

Jared smiles, a toothy grin and locks the stall door behind them, shoving Jensen up against the wall, reaching between them again. “God, I was hoping you’d get the message.”

“Tom had to clue me in,” Jensen admits, groaning softly as Jared drops to his knees. “Oh Jesus,” he whines, entangling his fingers in Jared’s hair.

Jared grins again and quickly undoes Jensen’s buckle, before pulling down his zipper. “This is gonna be fun.” He pulls Jensen out of his boxers and studies his dick for just a second, before looking up at Jensen, meeting his eyes as he opens his mouth, sliding it over the head.

“Shit,” Jensen moans, digging his fingers into Jared’s skull. “Fuck shit fuck.”

Jared goes down as far as he can, mouth stretched wide, lips red and shiny. He smirks as best as a man with a mouth full of cock and starts to hum, something that sounds a lot like Money Maker.