Date: 07/13/2011 - 11:25 am Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
That was heartbreaking! It's hard to imagine Sam's guilt, anger, helplessness. Easy to see how Ruby manipulated him.
Author's Response: Thank you. It is kind of painful, yeah, but at least like this the whole Ruby-thing makes a little more sense. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Date: 10/22/2010 - 09:55 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
The last Anonymous review was mine - sorry missed my name and that it got cut off.
And I must mention the lines:
(1) It’s not to be close to Dean, because he can’t be closer than he is.
(2) Dean is in hell and so is Sam. All the rest is just ... geography.
I read your Cognitive Dissonance last year and loved it. The way you convey the inner emotions of both Sam and Dean, the premise you place them in, and the way you depict their connection in just the exact amount of words is phenomenal.
Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Okay, so again, glad you liked it. And I am very glad to hear you liked Cognitive Dissonance as well. When things take a darker twist it's even more gratifying to hear that someone enjoys them. Not that any of my work is completely free of the darker strain, but still. Thank you for reading and reviewing. That makes all the difference.
Date: 10/22/2010 - 09:52 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
This is absolutely gorgeous and extremely painful at the same time. Sam's emotions feel as if they are my own, like his thoughts could be nothing else. This is what he felt throughout the year Dean has been gone.
There is a sense of loss and grief here, the bleakness that seems to encompass everything, and yet Sam has this drive to wake up every day and look for a way to get Dean back, that it is all that keeps him going.
I was trying to select my favorite lines but every single line is precise, leaves strong impact, and feels absolutely necessary where it is placed. A few moments that hurt more than others: Sam regretting not having felt Dean’s humming with his hands, Sam wearing Dean’s amulet and shirt, Sam carrying Dean’s gun and driving Dean’s car, Sam sowing Dean up real neatly, Sam falling like a stone because Dean is not there to snatch Sam out of his darkness.
And I must mention the lines:
>>>> It’s not to be close to Dean, because he can’t be closer than he is.>Dean is in hell and so is Sam. All the rest is just ... geography.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I really like the fact that this grabbed you somewhere as visceral as that. These bleaker pieces are harder on the reader, I get that, and it's very gratifying to hear that you liked it, and that it got to you. Thank you also for cherry picking, that's always awesome. There's very little spare flesh on this, and it's nice to see that you picked up on that.
Date: 06/25/2010 - 11:14 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
this isn't really a slash fic, but it definitely should have been in the show. it brings a whole new perspective for me on the time dean was in hell. it made me cry. i really wish i'd be able to actually SEE it, but this was very weel thought out and written. thank you SO much for posting this.
Author's Response: One of the best and most valuable responses I can get to anything I write is that it touches the reader enough to elicit an emotional response. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and telling me about that. And as far as this not being a slash fic, well there might not be any bumping uglies in it, but it sets the scene, you know? Thank you again.
Date: 05/15/2010 - 03:03 am Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
it was awsome your a good writer
Author's Response: That's very kind of you. Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Date: 11/09/2009 - 09:32 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
Without a doubt, yet another amazing look into the head of dear Sam. I treasure the way you are so able to capture his inner dialogue and in a way that is so believe and understandable, yet so eloquent and delicious. One of the things I enjoy about your writing, besides the 1,000 other ways I've mentioned, lol, is that I can damn near feel everything Sam feels. I only say near because I personally feel that you can never 100% understand what someone has gone through unless you've gone through it yourself. Just my opinion/feeling on that. But the angst, pain, anger, and every other emotion is so well written that I damn near feel like I'm going through it.
Thank you again!
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. If you come damned near to feeling this I think you're plenty close enough. That's just all kinds of wicked awesome. Thank you for using a word like delicious.
Date: 08/20/2009 - 11:17 am Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
OMG!! This story is SOOOOO GOOOOD! I relly felt Sam's pain and anger! Wonderful!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for telling me about it. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: 07/12/2009 - 09:36 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
So much despair. Darkness. Blood everywhere. Demons, innocents.. doesn't matter. Until nothing matters.. except what does. Thoughts, they correct, they come back, like thoughts do.
Makes me feel sad and loss, agony and want... and other things.
Absolute love, to put him back together. Absolute love, to open up and want the fire.
'Sam remembers too, bending over his brother’s body and howling his grief, a wounded animal keening in harsh light.' 'There is too much hurt for it to stay inside his skin, for him to remain human with all this in his head.' 'Then he got real quiet. Some things should never be taken from you.' '.. Sam falls like a stone.. darkness within and murder on his mind.' 'How can anyone be this broken and still keep moving?
In their parallel existence. Devastation. Regret. Rage. Scary what the other side of real love holds.
I love that you wrote it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. This is that point in time right after the demon won't deal and Sam offers himself up to be killed in his crappy apartment of the week, his chest bared to Ruby's knife. You've got to be pretty messed-up to go that far. Thank you for your many kind words and for going into the woods with me.
Date: 07/11/2009 - 03:41 pm Title: "drinking hard and acting wild"
Here's proof of the power of this. I KNOW that in 3 months (chronologically, world above, 30 years, world underneath) Sam and Dean are going to be reunited. I KNOW IT.
But by the end of the first paragraphs, I was back there in that hell with Sam, lost, without Dean, trying everything to get him back...and nothing working.
And him still alive when Dean was in hell. And no way to relieve the pain and the fury.
I was back there with him because you wrote this without even a hint of foreknowledge.
It takes incredible determination not to look just a little ahead, not to "know" that Dean comes back. If you'd done that, your writing would have been affected.
The brilliance and the tragedy of this is that we see solely from Sam's viewpoint. See him putting his beloved back together before he buries him in a pine box. And weep for him because his love is gone, and he's still there.
And you didn't let up tension even at the end. But you said it all pretty damn clearly. They were both in hell. The diffferences WERE just geography.
And we're left wondering what happens. Even though we KNOW what happens, for those paragraphs, for that written month, the future is suspended and we only know what Sam knows in that time...
Statement of Fact (I don't do compliments). This piece of writing is a sucker punch to the mind and the heart. And it burns and it hurts, but it blazes with honesty and deep commitment to keeping with Sam inside that timeframe. Beautifully done.
End of statement of fact.
Author's Response: You know, when I wrote this I was thinking of it as the prologue to Pain Control. I still think I might shift it over to that series, 'cause that's how it makes sense to me. And I am so very grateful for your many kind words as always. Thank you also for the statement of fact - knowing you don't do compliments makes your review all the more awesome in all ways. I tried to be true to the moment in time when Sam is without in the most dire and acute sense and I am grateful that came through. Thank you as always for reading and reviewing.