All Over Nothing At All

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Jensen wakes up at some disturbingly early hour of the morning and has a dreadful moment of 'Where the hell am I?' before he recognizes the arms wrapped around him as Jared's, and the small, teenage-boy room as also belonging to Jared. Jensen gets a strange, warm feeling in his stomach when he turns around to see Jared blissfully asleep, a half-smile on his relaxed face, his hair sticking up in tufts from where he's been sleeping on it.

But Jensen's got to get up; he's had a lot to drink, and is in desperate need of a trip to the bathroom. In the middle of the night, at Jared's place, with Jared's family sleeping unawares all around him.

Carefully detaching himself from Jared's grasp, Jensen smoothly rolls out of bed. Jared grunts, rolls onto his back, and starts snoring lightly as Jensen fumbles around the floor for something - anything! - to put on. He eventually finds a pair of Jared's sweatpants and, trying not to trip over the too-long legs, opens the door and creeps into the hallway.

Eventually he finds the bathroom, after almost opening the door of what (from the snoring coming from behind it) is Jared's parents' room, and curses when he catches the ragged cuff of the sweatpants in the bathroom door when he closes it. He trips and almost falls, the pants ending up around his knees as he catches his balance. Red-faced and glad no one saw that, he silently curses Jared for a) being so damned tall and b) having sweatpants that are, despite his height, somehow too long for him.

A minute later, he opens the door and almost has a heart attack when he sees Jared on the other side, his hand raised to knock on the door. Jared's face relaxes.

"Thank God, I didn't know where you'd gone..." Jared says quietly.

Jensen smiles. "Awww, I'm touched," he replies. "By the way, why are your damned pants so long?"

Jared looks down and almost bursts out laughing at the entire foot of excess leg on the pants Jensen is wearing.

"They aren't," he says. "You're just short."

"Six-one is not short," Jensen grumbles. "You're just some kind of freak."

Jared reaches out with a freakishly long arm and hooks a finger in Jensen's waistband, tugging him closer.

"You love it," he breathes, tilting his head down so his mouth is an inch away from Jensen's. Jensen nods despite himself and firmly plants both hands on Jared's boxer-clad ass. Their lips are just touching when there's a creak of a door off to the side, and suddenly Jared's sister is standing there, staring wide-eyed at the pair of them.

~

Oh, shit. Jared feels his insides turn upside down.

"Jared?" Meghan says sleepily. "What are ... oh my God, is that Mr Ackles?"

Sensing an imminent explosion, Jared lets go of Jensen and goes to his sister, who is staring at Jensen with a look of total shock on her face. He leans in close and says, "Go back to bed, we'll talk about it tomorrow, and I swear, if you tell mom and dad, I'm telling them I saw you making out with Bobby behind the bike sheds last week."

Meghan's eyes go even wider, and she nods, going back into her room and closing the door.

"This is bad," Jared moans when he and Jensen are safely back in his room.

"No shit," Jensen snarls. "I shouldn't have stayed, I don't know what the hell I was thinking! God, imagine if that had been your dad."

Jared runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm getting so tired of sneaking around," he says quietly. "Why can't we just come out and admit that we're together?"

"You know why!" Jensen growls. "I'd lose my job! I'd never teach again!"

"But if I took the blame..."

"Wouldn't work," Jensen interrupts. "They'd turn it around so it's my fault for not alerting anyone, for letting it go so far."

"There's only two months till I graduate," Jared says. "Maybe ... maybe we should take a break till then." There's a giant lump in Jared's throat as he forces the words out, and he wishes he could take them back when he sees the look of pain on Jensen's face. He leans over and takes hold of Jensen, grasping his face in both hands, drawing him close.

"This isn't a breakup, okay? I love you," he whispers. "I love you so fucking much..."

Jensen nods, his lips a tight line. "Two months," he says quietly. "I can do that." He leans in and kisses Jared lightly on the mouth before moving away and getting off the bed.

"Where you goin'?" Jared asks.

"Uh. Leaving," Jensen says.

"It's three in the morning. Stay the night," Jared pleads.

Jensen nods again and strips off his sweatpants, getting back into bed and allowing Jared to wrap himself around Jensen's body.

"Just... don't go kissing other boys, okay?" Jensen whispers. "I might have to expel you or something."

They kiss and murmur and make love for hours, until there's daylight seeping through the curtains and Jared can hear his parents getting ready for church. The moment the car pulls out of the driveway, he's hustling Jensen out of bed, into his clothes, and downstairs before his sister wakes up. They kiss for what seems like hours in the hall, neither of them willing to let go and just be a student and his teacher for the next two months. Finally, Jensen pulls away and opens the door, and doesn't look back as he heads back to his old life.

~

School on Monday is pretty much the worst day of Jensen's life, and he doesn't even have any classes with Jared in them. Somehow he's managing to see Jared everywhere; between every single class he happens to see Jared in the hallways, is always bumping into him, is always catching his eye. He's trying, really, he is, but he's distracted and finding it hard to concentrate on his classes. He keeps seeing the look of pain on Jared's face when he told Jensen that they should take a break; keeps thinking that now that Jared's explored his sexuality, he'll be quite happy to go and find himself a boyfriend who's the same age as him, who he doesn't have to sneak around with and pretend that there's nothing between them.

Tuesday's worse. Sitting at the back of the class, Jared's eyes bore into Jensen, and whenever Jensen looks in Jared's direction, he feels his cheeks flush and he stutters. The second time it happens, Jared blushes and looks away, and Jensen can't catch his eye again during the entire class. It's painful, and Jensen wants nothing more than to stand up and declare his love for Jared in front of the entire class.

The bell rings and the class packs up. As Jensen stands by the door watching them go, he feels a hand slide over his ass. He almost shrieks, and catches a glimpse of a cheeky grin from Jared as he goes past Jensen and heads off to his next class.

~

"This... this was the worst idea ever," Jared proclaims to Chad and Sandy at lunchtime, as they sit in their usual spot out in the middle of the field, away from prying ears. "I thought that I thought about him a lot before, but now I can't think of anything else." He tears up the grass in front of his crossed legs and glowers at his lunch.

Chad and Sandy exchange glances.

"You wanna go to the movies tonight?" Sandy asks eventually. "Take your mind off of things. You know."

Jared nods. It's not like he can concentrate on his homework.

~

On the way through the mall to the movie theater, Jared's eye is caught by a sign.

"Hang on," he says to Chad. "How long we got till that movie starts?"

"Hour or so," Chad says. "Come on, we're meeting Sandy at Wendy's in five."

"I'll meet you there," Jared says. "I... I'm gonna go do something."

Chad cocks an eyebrow at him, then shrugs and heads off. Jared steels himself and goes into a shop.

Half an hour later, he meets Chad and Sandy, a changed man.

"What the hell took you so long?" Sandy asks. Jared grins at her and taps his nose.

"Dude, spill," Chad snaps. "You're so damned secretive these days, you don't tell us anything!"

"Christ, Chad, you sound like a girl," Jared teases, and Sandy punches him on the arm.

"Whatever," Chad says, fishing around on his tray for the last of his fries. "Come on man, we gotta get tickets."

They're standing in line at the movie counter when Jared sees something that makes his stomach drop down to his toes. Jensen, walking out of the theater with another guy. Another hot guy, who looks to be older than Jensen, who looks pretty damned familiar with Jensen, judging from the way he slaps Jensen on the back as they share a joke. Jared feels all the color drain out of his face, and when Sandy and Chad realize something's wrong and follow his gaze, there's a stunned silence from both of them.

"'Scuse me, I gotta go," Jared mumbles, and makes a run for it. He doesn't even hear Chad and Sandy calling out for him to stop, wait. He makes it all the way to his dad's car before Sandy catches up to him.

"Jared, wait," she snaps. "You have no idea what that could have been."

"Don't be stupid," Jared mutters. "He's found someone else, someone older than me. Someone who's not a kid."

"Why would he do that?" she asks sensibly. "Did it ever seem like he was getting tired of you while you were together?"

"....not really," Jared says quietly. "But you never know. I told him we should take a break, but it was pretty much implied that it wasn't a 'seeing other people' break. And now that he's managed to get away from me, he can finally date whoever the hell he wants."

"You ever gonna ask him about this?" Sandy asks. "Or are you gonna just stew about it like the idiot you are? Jesus Christ. It could be a friend. You and Chad get pretty handsy sometimes, how do you think that would look to Jensen if he saw you guys together and didn't know who Chad was?"

"Uh..." Jared says eloquently.

"Damn right," Sandy says. "Now get your ass back in there, we're going to see that damned movie."

Jared nods and lets her drag him back inside, but all through the movie, he can't get the image of Jensen with the strange man out of his head. Makes sense, his inner enemy says. Who'd want to date a schoolboy when they can date someone who's much older and more experienced? Probably sick of having to teach me everything. Probably wants to just be able to go on a date like a normal person, too. No sneaking around. Nice of him to wait so long, though. Fucker.

~

Jared can barely look at Jensen during class on Wednesday. Every time he does, he imagines Jensen with that other man, kissing him, licking his body, fucking him. He imagines the look on Jensen's face when he comes, imagines someone else seeing that, and wants to punch the guy who had dared to know Jensen the way only Jared should. By the end of the class, he's not paid any attention to what Jensen had been saying, instead imagining all sorts of scenarios. The worst is thinking that perhaps Jensen's known this guy for ages, has been secretly dating him for ages, and just hadn't known how to let Jared down easily.

Jared's not gonna cry. He's not some girl. He locks himself in a cubicle in the boys' toilets and takes a few deep breaths, thinking violent thoughts instead of depressing ones, and heads off to Phys Ed, where he spends a blissful hour practicing tackles.

~

On Thursday, Jared ends up cycling past Jensen's place on the way home from school. He stops and looks up at Jensen's apartment, remembering the last time he was there - Jensen had been about to take a shower when Jared had turned up, and they'd both ended up in the small shower cubicle, barely enough room for the pair of them to stand facing each other. They'd kissed and stroked and licked, hot water pounding down on them, until they'd both been moaning and coming into each others' hands. Jared closes his eyes as he remembers, feeling his cock harden in his pants. He's just about to get back on his bike and leave when he sees the man from the movie theater going up the steps and opening the front door with a key.

All the way home, Jared imagines smashing the guy's face with a sledgehammer.

~

"I saw that guy again!" Jared says.

"Which guy?" Sandy replies.

Jared switches the phone to his other ear as he tears his uniform off and struggles into his pyjamas. It's a good night to spend in front of the TV playing the most violent Playstation game he owns. "That guy I saw Jensen with at the movies the other night!"

There's silence from Sandy's end. "Where did you see him?"

"Going into Jensen's apartment. He had a fucking key to the door." Jared sits down on his bed and buries his face in one hand. He's not gonna cry, not gonna cry...

"I think you should ask him about it," Sandy says. "You have no idea of the circumstances. You're probably barking up the completely wrong tree!"

"I... I don't know what to do," Jared says quietly. "It hasn't even been a week yet - how the hell am I supposed to cope for another two months? I can't stand it, I can't stand not being able to touch him."

Sandy sighs. "Honestly, I don't know how two guys can ever have a relationship without a woman around to tell them what to do. Talk to him, hon. And this break thing? Give it up; you're not fooling anyone but yourself."

She hangs up, and Jared throws the phone down on his bed. Tomorrow, he'll have to go talk to Jensen. This whole 'break' thing was pretty much the worst idea he's ever had.

~

On Friday, Jensen's got dark circles under his eyes. Jared's stomach clenches; he remembers the last time Jensen came to school looking like that - it had been because Jared had kept him up most of the night with lips and tongue and fingers and cock, only leaving when the sun started to rise. He has horrible thoughts of Jensen and that other guy; but before he can start creating scenarios in his head featuring his teacher and his teacher's new possibly-boyfriend, Sandy slaps him on the arm and passes him a note.

Talk to him. Dumbass.

Jared sighs. He catches Jensen's eyes, and is surprised to see a look of longing. He was expecting guilt.

~

It's almost ten in the evening, and Jared's parked outside Jensen's place again. The lights are on in Jensen's apartment, and Jared locks his bike up and starts up the steps to the front door, stomach clenched with fear. It takes him almost a minute to get up the guts to press the buzzer.

"Yeah?"

"Uh. Jensen? It's Jared."

There's a pause, and Jared's about to just leave when the door clicks open.

"Come on up."

Jared doesn't need to be told twice. When he gets to Jensen's door he finds it open, and Jensen is just inside, holding a beer.

"Hey. Um. How's it going?" Jared asks, his hands shoved in his pockets to stop himself fiddling.

"Absolute shit," Jensen says candidly. "Come in."

The lounge is looking incredibly tidy, for the first time ever. Jared almost misses the piles of books and clothes that usually decorate Jensen's place, thinking that he must have tidied up a bit for this new guy. Jensen hands him a beer and waves towards the couch.

"Back in a moment." He disappears through the door into the kitchen, and Jared can hear voices. Shit. He stands up, puts his beer down on the coffee table, and is just about to leave when Jensen comes back in.

"Where you going?" he asks, looking puzzled.

"Look man," Jared says, "I get that you don't wanna be with me anymore, I do. I mean, I guess it kinda sucks having to hide your ... boyfriend, whatever. But couldn't you have just told me you'd met someone else, instead of sneaking around?" Jared can hear his voice getting higher, louder, but he doesn't care. He's so damned pissed right now; he doesn't care what Jensen thinks of him.

"Jared... what the hell are you talking about? Met someone else? I haven't met someone else!"

"Don't lie to me," Jared spits. "I saw you the other night at the movies with some new guy. And the other day, I was going past your place and he was letting himself in with a key!"

A look of comprehension passes of Jensen's face. Without turning away from Jared, he calls out, "Hey, Joshua? Someone here wants to meet you..."

Jared blinks, confused. The guy he's been imagining dead and mutilated all week comes out of the kitchen, and smiles at him.

"Jared, this is my brother, Joshua. Joshua, this is Jared. I think I've told you about him."

Jared's mouth falls open. "I..."

"Hey," Joshua says. "Nice to meet you. Sorry to break up the party, but I'm gonna go meet some friends down at the bar. See you in a bit, Jensen." He picks up his jacket from the couch and leaves, slapping Jensen on the back and winking at Jared.

The moment the door shuts behind Joshua, Jared finds himself shoved up against it. Jensen's right in his face, hands gripping his hips tightly as he presses his body against Jared's.

"Can't do it," Jensen pants in Jared's ear, biting down on his earlobe and tugging it between his teeth as his hands tear Jared's fly open. "Gotta have you, Jared..."

"Jesus," Jared grunts, unable to do anything except tilt his head to lick Jensen's neck, sucking hard till there's a red mark. His hands have found their way down to Jensen's ass, firm and tight in his jeans, and he thrusts his hips, feeling his cock harden in his pants as it presses up against Jensen's erection. Jensen's moaning softly as he licks Jared's jawline, tracing the curve of his face around till he reaches his mouth. They kiss like they're starving; lips and tongue crashing together, violent and messy and noisy.

Jared can't stop rubbing himself against Jensen; can't stop thrusting his hips and he claims Jensen's mouth as his own once again. Jensen presses a thigh between Jared's leg, and he rides it without shame as they kiss and moan and suck each other's mouths. His head falls back against the door and he lets out an embarrassing sound as Jensen unzips his pants before bringing both their cocks out; he feels like he's gonna burst if he can't come soon. Jared looks down and sees Jensen wrap his hands around them both, slick with precome and sweat.

"Want you to fuck me," Jared whispers, and Jensen groans.

"Later," he says, gripping their cocks tightly and starting to jerk them off. Jared whimpers and thrusts his hips, fucking Jensen's hand, loving the hot length of his cock pressed against Jared's, the feel of the rough material of Jensen's shirt rubbing against his chest. He lets out a yell when Jensen presses against his left nipple, and Jensen pulls away with a concerned look on his face.

"What the..." Jensen tears Jared's shirt open, and his eyes turn dark when he sees the new decoration on Jared's nipple. "When..."

"Just the other night," Jared grins. "You like it?"

Jensen bites his lip and lets out a strangled groan. "Can I..."

"Not yet," Jared says sadly. "Gotta wait till it heals."

"No fair," Jensen whimpers, leaning over and licking a hot stripe up Jared's chest to just below his nipple. He circles the small metal barbell carefully, not touching it, and Jared whimpers and gasps bitten-off curses as Jensen tongues his other nipple and jerks his cock.

"Gonna..." Jared manages to grunt as a rush of heat flows through his body and he comes, comes so fucking hard, his cock spurting and emptying all over Jensen's hands as he moans and curses and bucks his hips.

"Jesus," Jensen mutters, tilting his head up again to kiss Jared, hot and wet and delicious, his hand slick with come as he takes hold of Jared's hand and wraps it around his dick. Jared breaks away from the kiss and looks down, seemingly fascinated by the sight of Jensen's slick cock sliding through his fist.

"C'mon," Jensen grinds out, his hips jerking helplessly as Jared slowly strokes his dick, thumb sliding over the head and squeezing not quite hard enough.

"Jensen?" Jared whispers in his ear.

"Yeah?" Jensen grunts. God, why won't he just fucking jerk him off already...

"I wanna rim you."

Jensen doesn't even think twice; he's dragging Jared off to his bedroom before he can blink. He's almost at the bed when Jared tackles him, and he ends up on his stomach with his dick rubbing almost painfully against the blankets. Jared's sprawled across his back, tongue licking the back of his neck, hands wrapped around his hips.

"So. You gonna teach me?" Jared asks, a lewd grin in his voice. "Or should I just make it up as I go?"

~

Jensen's pretty sure he should feel like an idiot; he's on his knees, face buried in his arms, legs spread, ass sticking up in the air. But after Jared slowly peels his clothes off of him and grins dirtily at Jensen while stripping his own clothes off and arranging Jensen just how he wants, he can't help but feel more turned on than he ever has before. His rock-hard dick feels heavy and almost obscene as it twitches and jerks against his belly, and when Jared kneels behind him and breathes hot air over his ass cheeks, Jensen lets out a soft whimper.

"Not even gotten started yet," Jared murmurs, a warm hand skating over Jensen's hip and down his thigh. Jensen grips the sheets and tries not to shriek when Jared spreads his ass cheeks and licks a long, hot strip all the way from his balls to his back.

"Hmm," Jared mumbles, considering. "Interesting." Jensen hears him lick his lips, but before he has a chance to say anything, Jared's thumbs are pressing into his ass and his tongue slides in.

"Ohmygod," Jensen babbles, hips jerking as Jared licks around his hole. His cock is leaking constantly, dripping precome onto the blankets as Jensen closes his eyes and bites back a scream. Jared's licking him enthusiastically, exploring every surface, thumbs stroking and sliding in and out of him. Jensen groans and almost comes when Jared takes his thumbs away and replaces them with two long fingers, reaching far inside him and stroking his prostate as he licks around his fingers, pressing his tongue in between them.

"Jared..." Jensen mumbles around his mouthful of pillow.

"Hmmm?" The humming throbs through Jensen's body, and he grits his teeth as a wave of arousal flows through him and he almost comes.

"Want your cock in me..."

Jared groans, and Jensen feels him climb to his knees. He rummages blindly around his bed, looking for the condoms and lube he usually keeps under the pillow, and Jared bites down on his shoulder, two fingers still in his ass as he grabs the condom out of Jensen's hand and tears it open. There's a quiet glug of lube, and then Jared's slowly pushing inside him.

"God, you're tight," Jared moans. "So fucking tight... did you miss me?"

"Fuck yeah," Jensen pants. "Got a hand cramp from wanking..."

Jared chuckles. "At least you didn't almost get caught jerking off in the library by Psycho Jeffrey."

Jensen laughs, his laughter turning to groans as Jared increases the speed of his thrusts, the head of his dick sliding relentlessly against Jensen's prostate. It's hard and messy and sofuckinggood, Jensen can't imagine how he survived the past week without Jared around him, in him, fucking him and touching him. Jared's hands are splayed over his back, huge areas of intense heat seeping into Jensen's bones as they grunt and shift and move together. The head of Jensen's bed is banging against the wall; he hopes the neighbors are out or something, otherwise they'll be watching their television to the soundtrack of Jared's grunts and Jensen's groans as they fuck.

"Missed your tight ass," Jared gasps. "Missed your fucking gorgeous mouth, your cock, your hands... Jensen..." He reaches around and takes hold of Jensen's hard dick, jerking it roughly as he fucks him harder, balls slapping against his ass, the room echoing with the wet sounds of their fucking. Jensen's mouth falls open and he lets out a long, low moan, thrusting forward into Jared's fist and then back onto his dick, pushing and grunting as his balls tighten and he comes, comes everywhere, white-hot wetness shooting out of his dick as Jared grips him hard and bites his neck. His thrusts speed up, and he mumbles incoherent words into Jensen's neck as he stills and comes, hands tightening on Jensen's hips.

All Jensen can hear is Jared panting in his ear, and he turns his head slightly as Jared's lips touch his cheek.

"Um," Jared says. "Do we need to talk about this?"

Jensen chuckles, and cranes his neck around to kiss Jared.

~

"Why would you think I'd go straight out and find someone else, Jared?" Jensen asks. They're on the couch; cleaned up and dressed, and Jared's feeling kinda uncomfortable.

"Cause I'm just a kid, and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to have a relationship you could be open about," Jared says. "Um. Kinda stupid, right?"

Jensen bursts out laughing, and Jared glares at him. "What?"

"Only that I've been spending all week thinking that now that you're all experienced, you're probably gonna go and find yourself a boyfriend who you don't have to sneak around with." Still chuckling, Jensen sits down next to Jared on the couch, his thigh pressing against Jared's.

"...oh."

"This break..." Jensen begins.

"...was the stupidest idea I've ever had," Jared finishes.

"But," Jensen continues, "if we're gonna keep seeing each other, we gotta lay some ground rules."

Jared nods. "Yeah. Like - no staying over at my place."

"No being alone together at school."

Jared sighs. "That's gonna suck."

"I know," Jensen agrees. "But... we don't have long till you graduate, and you can see me in the evenings."

"This is really gonna suck," Jared says gloomily. Jensen moves closer and nudges his way under Jared's arm so he's resting his head on his chest. Jared winces, and Jensen grins, sliding a hand up Jared's chest to gently caress the skin around his piercing.

"Can't wait to lick this," Jensen says softly. "How long do I gotta wait?"

"Few weeks, I reckon," Jared says. "Apparently, it increases sensation."

Jensen tilts his head up, grinning at Jared, who bends slightly and kisses Jensen. It's slow and warm and feels like honey; so damned sweet and smooth Jared feels like he could just go on doing this forever.

They're interrupted by the door to Jensen's apartment opening. They break apart, and Jensen's brother comes in, throwing a grin at them when he sees them curled up on the couch together.

"Busy night?" he says with a wink. Jared blushes, and Jensen waves a bored hand at Joshua.

"Fuck off," he says lazily.

Joshua shakes his head and vanishes into the kitchen. Jared stretches and starts to stand up.

"Where you going?" Jensen asks.

"It's late, I gotta get home," Jared explains.

"It's Friday night; stay with me," Jensen says quietly. "I got no nosy family gonna knock on my door and discover us."

"Don't have any clothes here, and your shortass pants don't fit," Jared says with a grin. Jensen slaps him across the back of the head, and they collapse in a fit of laughter.

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